Solitary Confinment

I hit the solitude wall today. It is my eighth day here and I as surprised that this minin breakdown came so soon, but it did. I cannot say it is loneliness just a solitude break down. I am so hungry for a conversation with any one about any thing. My mind is playing tricks on me bouncing me around between complete optimism and negativity. I have to stop and jolt myself out of this vicious cycle. So I decided to go Patong. There is a big new mall there full of western style shops of all kinds. I got a manicure, and then some shopping. I bought a couple of new shits a white dress shirt (20.00$’s) and then a red t-shirt with the number 37 on it. I could not pass this one up as 37 is my lucky number. This one cost me 15.00$’s. After I wandered around a bit more I went to the extreme and had dinner at Burger King the food was just as in America but more expensive 6$’s for the meal deal. The burger was ok but the fries were heavenly. Then I had a hot fudge sundae at Swenson’s bought a people magazine and went home. This did the trick I feel much better.
I avoided the human touch element and the martini’s. I think I will make this a weekly ritual every seven days I will go to the mall do a little shopping get a manicure.
And on the seventh day he shopped and ate Pizza!

Today is another rainy day and I am rain locked. So today will be about studing, working out, meditating and playing guitar, I am glad I went to town to get over the solitude blues I am in a much better place today I can focus and produce.

The rains are colder today the weather is changing you can feel it in the temperature of the rain and the cool breeze that accompanies it. The Sun is still very hot and I know there will many days to come for hanging on the beach. There sure as hell better be as I am just now beginning to get an tan. This is a big deal for a pink skinned Scottish Boy! Sunday in Phuket.

Jokes on Me

The other night as I was sitting playing guitar on my porch, the neighborhood cantor began to sing. I have been disappointed in my voice lately and so I need to start doing some exercises. I had the idea to find this beautiful voice and maybe try to sing along with him. I put away my guitar, locked up the Bungalow and began to walk towards the sound of his voice. As I was walking I started my attempt to sing along, I very quickly realized that this guy was a tenor and a high tenor at that and there was no way I was going to be able to sing along with him, I am a bass really a baritone. But I was in motion so continued to follow the sound of his voice. As I have mentioned before his voice carries out over the whole neighborhood. It is amazing to hear just how far his voice projects. As I am walking I think I am getting close to the source and then I hear his singing coming from somewhere behind me. This was very confusing, as I thought I was going in the right direction. So I turned and began to walk in the other direction. And then all of a sudden he was in stereo; what, was there another singer? I kept walking and then I heard the voice coming from over head I looked up and saw two loudspeakers on a utility pole. I then noticed that there are speakers on poles throughout the neighborhood. I had been duped, the mans voice is being projected through the neighborhood over a PA system! I had to laugh at myself and my romantic nature. All this time I have been listening to the man sing I am thinking WOW what a voice, rich, velvety tone and so powerful you can hear him throughout the valley. I had this image of him standing on a hill and just singing out to the world. Truth is he is sitting is a room somewhere and singing into a microphone. Well fact remains he does have a beautiful voice and I can’t touch it.

Yesterday I needed to find a Guitar store and so I went into Patong, the nearest big town. This is the big tourist spot in this area of Phuket. I never doubted for a moment that there would be a music store there where I could get what I needed. Patong is full of bars with live music so this made sense to me. Well there are no music stores in Patong. I asked around going into a variety of stores. Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles any place that was of English origin hoping to find someone who spoke English well enough to understand what it was that I was looking for, but to no avail. I finally found a woman at the registration desk at a major hotel who spoke very good English. She told me that I would have to go to Phuket City to find what I needed. Phuket City is about 30min from Patong so I decided to take the trip. It would be fun to do some more exploring and I really did need to find a Capo for Rhonda’s guitar. So off I go on the little motor scooter on the Phuket City adventure. The road there is a main highway and the traffic was heavy. There were buses, trucks, cars and a many motor scooters like mine/Rhonda’s. The variety of vehicles creates a mess of traffic. The buses are old and very slow as are many of the trucks. Most of the motor scooters the one I am on included are also slow particularly when there is a hill involved. And then there are the new cars and big new motorcycles. Sometimes the traffic creates three lanes where there is one. Basically if there is any chance that one can be passed the drivers around here just go for it. So you can have a Motor Scooter passing a truck being passed by a new car or motorcycle and the same time a similar situation is happening coming from the other directing. I call this doing the traffic dance. I am just happy this is not Contact Improve!
I made it to Phuket City in one piece and as soon as I saw a store that was music related I stopped to see if I could get directions to the, or a music store. Phuket City is a maze of shops all of them that I could see were small and specialized, so I knew that just driving around would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I went into a large by comparison CD and DVD store and asked for help no one spoke English well enough to have a clue what I was saying, I was not surprised. So I began to just walk around to do some exploring. I went into a fabric store and looked for a buttons to match some fabric I bought in Bangkok. As I was looking at the button selection a woman approached me and asked me in perfect English if she could help me. I was excited help had arrived. I told her of my search. She told me that she was from Phuket city and she had no idea where I could find a music store that sold guitars and related equipment. Discouraged I left the store to continue my recon-mission but not before checking out the fabric selection. They had one bolt of very nice white cotton I was thinking would make a beautiful shirt. I passed on the white cotton and was on my way. I walked around for 45min or so and I realized that this was ridiculous I would never find what I was looking for this way; this place is a maze with no pattern at all. Phuket City was primarily developed around the turn of the century to support a boom in tin mining, as was much of the island.( http://www.phuket.com/island/phuket-tour.htm ) Phuket city being the center as it was and still is a major port having a natural bay suitable for the accommodating the shipping of the tin this is also a fishing town. I did not find the port or any the part of the city that holds the beauty history or charm. The buildings in “Old Phuket Town” were built with French colonial influences. Interesting but the buildings are not well maintained and their charm is lost in the chaos of the surrounding City. Remember I was only walking around for 45 min. I am sure there are other parts of the city that are very nice, I just did not see them. There is vegetarian festival in Phuket City the second week in October I will return to experience this so I may have a different perspective after my second visit. Finally I gave up on finding my needle in the haystack and decided to split the scene. But not before returning to the fabric store the white cotton was calling out to me. I bought the fabric 2.5 meters, 3 dollars. I then got on my motor scooter and decided to cruise around the city just a little more in a last attempt to find not only the music store but something of beauty and interest in the City. I did see some very big beautiful and old estates, most likly the homes of the Tin barrons. After some time I once again gave up a said I’m outta here. I no sooner made my commitment to split than I turned a corner and lo and behold a guitar shop. It was small but it had a guitar in the window, I parked the scooter entered the shop and found my capo. The capo cost 80 baht about one dollar. I scored and had a experience as well. Life is a magic carpet ride! Sometimes……….

A Path

Kuni was close to my age, or so I believe. Being Japanese it was difficult to determine Japanese women age so gracefully. We met in 1991 at the same time I began to practice Nia. I was going to Portland State College and was living in a Campus apartment in downtown Portland. I had put an advertisement up on the common board in the laundry room looking for someone to do my cleaning for me both my apartment and my laundry. I have never been very good at the laundry thing. I can use the machines ok but then the clean laundry usually sits because I can never seems to find the time to fold and iron. Kuni was the only applicant for the job. She came to my apartment to meet me and almost as soon as she sat down she noticed my alter, it was a Buddhist altar. Kuni herself a Buddhist was surprised and she asked me in her limited English what is was. I explained that I was a Buddhist and that this is where I prayed. She then told me that she too was a Buddhist. I hired her as my housekeeper and had no idea that I would get so much more. Before she left my apartment that day she asked me if I would like to pray together. I told her that that would be nice, that she could come to my apartment anytime to pray with me. The next thing I know we agreed that we would chant together every morning at 5:30am. This happened so fast I really had no time give it any thought, what would that look like? Anyhow the next morning and every morning there after Kuni came to my apartment in the early morning and we would kneel together in front of my altar and Chant for 30 min. rarely did I not join her, it was usually the mornings after I played a music gig sometimes arriving home just hours before or chant time I would as a result sleep through the session. Kuni had a key to my apartment and the agreement was that she would come and I would or would not join in. Her canting never bothered me in the least even if I was too tired to get out of bed to join her. I always enjoyed listing to her in the next room chanting her hypnotic chants. Kuni became my friend she took care of me when I was sick and would even feed me from time to time.
This went on for years until I moved from my apartment and Kuni back to Japan. I became a Buddhist as a young man. Before Kuni came to my apartment I never really had a regular practice. I would pray but not daily, there was no discipline to my practice. Buddhism for me was more of a way to look at the world I adopted it as an ideology that I could relate to and help to guide me, on my path though this life. I explored the big 4 in my search for a practice I chose Buddhism for very basic reasons. I liked the idea of Karma, and I liked it that Buddha was a man and that the history of his life did not seem like a fairy tale and that there really was no where in his teachings that spoke of guilt and punishment, other than that one may impose upon oneself. Buddha spoke of suffering but in a way that I could understand. I myself had left my family and rejected the path that was related to being the son of my father. I did it for different reasons than Buddha and was not conscious like he of my intention. I did do my share of self-imposed suffering I can assure you. I also liked it that the Buddhist were not into conquering. And I thought it interesting that as a man he died of food poisoning, simple and not glamorized in any way through history. When he died his most devout of disciples came together to discuss who would carry on in his place the decision was no one; that they would together continue to share the teachings with the world. Simple reasons but enough for me to adopt Buddhism as my guide.
I went to the Temple here in Phuket the one that where the Monk was sitting on the observation deck waving to me the day before. It not just a temple it is a monastery. As soon as I entered the gates I was welcomed by a Monk. He greeted me in English and by his delivery I assumed he spoke English well. I asked him to confirm and he said yes he did speak English but I very quickly discovered that what English he had spoken to me was it. From that point forward he did not understand a word I said. He just smiled and nodded his head and kept pointing to a road that I assumed led to the temple. I followed the road passing monks along the way all dressed in the traditional orange robes, they were engaged in all sorts of activities; weeding, painting, tile work and cleaning among them. I passed the crematorium and further up the hill I came to the temple. There are no formal hours for prayer other than I assume those for the monks. In that there was no one who spoke English I was unable to find out when they opened the great hall for prayer and if when they did if the general population was able to join them in their chanting. There is another place other than the great hall that is always open. It is a simple structure albeit ornate, all the structures other than the simple buildings where the monks sleep and eat are ornate. In this open structure is an altar upon which sits a statue of Buddha a table for offerings, people come daily and leave food and money. There was a stack of incense and a bowl full of sand with the remaining stalks of the burned incense left by those who had come before. The statue of Buddha was covered with gold leaf. People apply the gold leaf as a way of showing reverence. I entered this place and knelt, I lit some incense, bowed and prayed. Just outside of this little temple there was a very odd assortment of statues of people. There were seven of these statues. The statues were all white and macabre, grotesque in their shapes and appearance. All of them had red paint splattered on them mostly in the abdominal area. One was headless with the red paint dripping down the neck. This statue included a bird that was perched on the shoulders of the beheaded feeding on the flesh of the exposed neck, very strange. I wish there was someone who spoke English who could explain these statues to me.
I have found my Temple, it is not what I had envisioned but what ever is but it is perfect. I will go there every day, leave my offerings and pray.

Ask and You Shall Receive

I was thinking that I wanted to find a Buddhist temple to go and worship. Today after the rains I was returning from a store where they sell facial products that they make on the premise, very high quality, I found the store one of the first days I was out exploring beyond Kamala I stocked up on bath products however I did not at the time need any facial products, I do now. So I went up the road to buy a facial mask. I noticed the facial mask when I was there the first time, I opened the sample jar and based on my experience determined that this was one strong mask the kind that if you need to have instant results, like when you have one of those big ass….let’s just say blemishes beginning to form on your nose; you can apply the mask and over night it will suck out the threatening life form. Well I am sure you have guessed by now, this morning I discovered that I needed just such a mask, enough said. I also wanted to buy some Aloe Vera to help my feet heal from the sores I got my first day here wearing my new flip flops. Today is a market day; market days are Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday from around 4:pm until people go home sometime around 9, it is also Ramadan. It is around 4:30, I am not sure if this is normal rush hour, I have not been cruising on any major roads at this time of day until now. During Ramadan many of the workers get to go home early and this is definitely rush hour; a rush hour with very loose traffic laws and full of hungry people. Remember that Ramadan is a time for fasting from sunrise to sunset. Rush hour here is a real free for all of Motor Scooters and cars jockeying for position on the roads. This is not the sort of traffic that one takes casual in fact you need to drive just like them or I think you may die. I am now very comfortable on Rhonda’s Motor Scooter and really had fun doing the traffic dance with the rest of the gang. Don’t worry Rhonda I learned how to ride a Motor Scooter (Vespa) when I was living in Rome, I could be called an Italian driver so therefore have experience with aggressive driving. In all this chaos I have my point and shoot camera hanging from my right wrist (this is of course the hand you use to activate the throttle and the front break) ready to take any instant shots that may call out to me. As I am going around a bend in the road precisely the point where the road goes from two lane to one and all the traffic is converging together silly me I look up and see this Buddhist Monk bald head just like me and in the traditional orange robe, sitting on some sort of a deck directly above the road; he looks me straight in the eye and waves. I found my temple it practically jumped into the middle of the road and hailed me in, ask and you shall receive, and all thanks to this big ass (blemish) that is threatening to become a growth beyond compare. Tomorrow I will go to the temple and see if it is open to the public for worship. I am excited too as you say Axel with intent “fall on my knees.” After the other night when the rains came it has continued to rain, raining most of the time. Last night it rained the entire night harder than I have ever experienced. There is a little fountain a decorative pool next to my Bungalow it has was empty and dry when I arrived this morning when I went outside I noticed that the rain had for the most part filled it up, to a depth of around 5 inches so I can say it rained 5 inches in 8hrs. My front yard along with the neighbors is a lake and still the rain kept coming. I was effectively rain locked. I could walk somewhere but where are you going to go that when you get there you are drenched to the bone. So I settled in and went about by business. I bounce from writing to playing guitar to reading to studying to working. I do not do well focusing for and long periods of time so this was a real challenge for me within hours I was getting pretty jumpy. I had some fun with my camera trying to capture the rain. I was able to get some shots that were fast enough to actually stop the rain, this was most effective taking pictures of the rain running off the roofs because the drops were big enough to focus on. As much as this journey is about self-exploration and as much as I embrace this process it is still easy for me to wander and avoid. When you are rain locked in a one room Bungalow for an entire day it is difficult to avoid. My mind begins to reel and my heart right along with it. This made for an emotional and moving day. Moving from now to then to next. At around 4:00 the rain had reduced to a drizzle and I decided to make a run for the facial mask. By the time I was on my way home it had effectively stopped, enough that when I passed the soccer field the boys were out in full force. I decided to go home and get my camera. I have the perfect lens for sports shooting a long lens 70-200mm. This is not a casual looking camera set up by any means it always attracts attention, today was no different. When I walked out onto the field the boys all began to laugh and pose and push each other around and I began to click away. They settled down quickly and got back to the game. There is nothing like a camera to bring out the best in people; the boys were playing hard. This camera is new for me and I still have some apprehension with going around and taking pictures of people in particular, I feel invasive. Well yesterday proved me wrong in this regard. The boys loved having me on the sidelines, their own team photographer. This was my first time shooting sports of any kind, I found it to be quite a challenge, it is all about anticipating where the ball is going and getting there first. I did Ok for my first time out. I was able to capture some fun moments, and some glorious ones. I will print off the best ones and take them to the field for the boys to take home. After the soccer game I was having so much fun I decided to venture into the Market. It was now dark and the market is lit by bare light bulbs dangling from cords here and there. This makes for very interesting lighting and dramatic photo opportunities. Still I am reluctant as I try to be a respectful person and I feel a bit invasive sticking a camera in someone’s face. Well my fears were quickly put aside. The people at the market like the boys on the soccer field loved having their pictures taken. The market proved to be a photographers playground. I was able to take many very beautiful pictures of the scene but my favorite pictures are of the people. The Thai people are so beautiful their eyes sparkle and when they smile their faces light up like the face of a child. They have huge hearts and they are a simple people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and you can see it in the light that surrounds them. I think I need to begin taking my camera with me everywhere. I only wish I had bought that 50mm 1.2 lens I was looking at in Bangkok instead of the diamond ring I bought Debbie for Christmas, opps........

Glass Houses

I am a ghost wandering through the cosmos separate and yet connected. I speak they do not listen I smile they do not see. It is as if I am walking along side a parallel universe sharing the same physical reality and yet completely different and set apart in the emotional and spiritual realms. I am not sure it could be me or my imagination, however my observation thus far here in Phuket is that the other Caucasians I meet flat out are not of the friendly sort. I am not used to this, definitely different from my Venice experience. I have made it a game trying to force eye contact wherein I might be able the pass a smile but is not possible it seems they will do all they can to avoid connection of any kind, this is odd. Even as I sit in my adopted office a beautiful hotel lobby (I make it a point to be dressed well appropriate to my environment) populated primarily by foreigners I cannot create enough of an opening to even nod and say good morning. I can only speculate on the why of this. Maybe it is that I truly need to be alone here so I have myself unconsciously put up a wall or maybe it is my bald head it makes me look hard and much older. I am perplexed. Around town with the locals I am now well integrated. This is a very small town I take a walk along the same path twice a day once in the morning when I first wake up and then in the evening just around sunset. Yesterday an old man probably about my age stopped his motor scooter pulling up along side of me as I walked, he offered me a ride. I was on my exercise walk but how could I refuse he all but forced me on board, I jumped on behind him and into town we went. The girls at the bars and the massage parlors have given up on me they no longer call out to me as I pass by. They do say hello and smile. Even the tailors leave me alone they are as bad if not worse than the girls with their street solicitations, hello sir nice suit for you sir, where you going sir, you need nice shirt sir, where you from sir, where you stay, so on and so on. Now they greet me in a simple and friendly manner I may just stop one of these nights and have a chat just to be friendly I do not need a new suit and if you have seen my closet you know a shirt is the last thing I need. I am known in less than a week well enough to be settled and recognized not as a quick catch for the tourist trap, this suits me very well.
I am still trying to understand the other people those that at least from the outside look like me. There are many business men here I assume making land deals. The woman who lives next door to me came over one night for a welcome chat she and Rhonda have been friends for many years, she has been in Phuket for 6. I asked her about this and she seemed unaware of the dynamic, maybe women are treated different. Well we all know women are treated different (sorry ladies but it is true.) She said that the business men are all very busy and focused, and therefore distant, I don’t buy this one. Not everyone is a businessman and regardless I am a business man I may not be here on business but other than now my life has been consumed with business and I have done a fair amount of traveling for business, New York, Chicago, LA, Europe, San Francisco, Las Vegas I have never found that the environment was unfriendly actually quite the opposite. Most business people I come across are happy to engage as there is always an opportunity waiting around some corner or a contact to be made or a lesson to be learned. I you want to meet new people hang out at the bar at the Waldorf Astoria in the mid week I assure you, you will not sit at the bar for long before someone greets you and asks what your business is, that’s how we do business, at least that’s my experience. Could be that in the east every is so different that this too is upside down. With all the building going on around here I assume that many of the business men are making land and or building deals, are they the exploiters who are raking in the big cash and do they look at outsiders as competition, or do they carry some level of guilt or are they just focused? Most of the English I here comes with an Australian accent, I have never been to Australia but I have heard the Aussies are super friendly, here they are not. My landlord approached me the other day as I sat working on my front porch and asked me how I was doing. His English is very limited, but we manage to communicate. I told him I was fine. He asked me “you go to Patong?” I told him that I went there my first day for lunch and have not been back since. He said “No Girl” I said “No Girl” he said “Why you no want Girl” I said “ No girl” he said “you like lady boy” I said “no, no lady boys.” He looked at me confused and said again “ why you not go to Patong for girls” I said “ I came to Phuket to relax write and play guitar not for girls. He laughed shook his head and walked away. This little interaction gave me a new insight. Perhaps most of the men who come here are here to exploit or at least take advantage of the cheap sex, or the cheap labor or the cheap goods. I then had this vision that I am surrounded by carpet baggers and sailors pulling into port for a good time. It is off season and I imagine the vibe could be different on season. I do know that this is a favorite wintering place for the gondoliers of Venice, friendly enough in Venice I wonder if they are friendly when they are here? Anyhow I can see how at first glance I would appear to be anyone of the above. This is not a place I chose to walk. So that would mean the regular people would be looking at me and saying there goes another one and the dudes in the above categories are just as they are. I could be wrong I am just speculating and remember that cultural and social dynamics are one of my favorite interest. My truth remains the other foreigners here at least the ones I have come across simply are not friendly. I am completely OK with this I love the locals, and as they continue to warm to me I love them even more. I have found a little store where I buy my water and treats. It is really a big garage filled with a weird variety of stuff and a cooler. The prices are half of what they are in any store in the town proper and the woman who works there is as delightful as can be. She is a Muslim and she sits there all day with a couple of friends and sells her goodies. Every time I go in to her store she gives me language lessons. I call her Mama and we always laugh together. This is where I want to be walking in the rain laughing with the locals and watching the boys play soccer. Next I want to find a Buddhist temple where I can pray and further immerse myself into the culture and the community of these very beautiful people. I get enough foreigners at home. Maybe many are here as I for the solitude. And then I remember; that who am I to judge. I feel that I have no judgments just observations. But in my life I carry my share of guilt, what have I exploited what secrets do I hold. Running away from home at 15 I have been places I thank god my children never had to visit and I have done things that to this day I search my soul for forgiveness. So maybe I was drawn here as a mirror another opportunity to look deep into my own psyche still having some clearing to do. I am but a mirror of thyself. The mirror is my doorway opening to my path of healing.

Happy Again

Ya’ll get in here ur’re gonna catch your death a cold or worse ya gonna get hit by lite’en. Now you git ur’re skinny lil buts inside and I mean, I mean now for I come out and git ya’ll. I can still here my mama calling out to us from my aunt Liz’s porch in Alexandria Louisiana we would visit there in the summer time when I was a young boy my mama growing up in Crowley an all; her sisters all settling points nearby. My aunt Liz’s was my favorite as my cousin Tommy was almost my same age and Peter and Johnny one year older and one year younger from Bay City Texas would almost always tag along, the four of us makin quite a team. We would never pay heed to her calls acting like we didn’t hear her at all cause when the rain would come on them hot summer Louisiana nights when the air was so hot and thick you could hardly breath the only relief other that that oscillating fan that would hum us to sleep along with the crickets and the frogs was when the rain came. And come it would down in buckets as mama would say rainin cats and dogs. We would strip off our clothes and of we’d go running and skippin paying hide and seek, tag and just running and sliding on the grass like a super slide. The rain coolin our hot skin, just slightly cooler than the air, it would sting for just a little while til you gits used to it then it was like swimming in air. We would squeal and laugh chasin each other for no reason at all. Just to be defying nature an Mama and to be playin in the rain.
As I sit here in Phuket the rain has been threatening all day clouds lightly dotting the sky the moisture so thick you can feel it like a light sprinkle but no rain. I am sitting on the porch and scratching out a tune or two on Rhonda’s Guitar when in a flash the clouds come like a herd over the ridge just behind me. I see them coming and I know without question that this is just like Dylan says “ A Hard Rain Is Gonna Fall.” Sure enough sooner than I can get inside and put away the guitar, the clouds give away to a Thailand downpour. Mama it don’t rain cats and dogs here it rains lions and tigers big un’s. I strip out of my clothes and put on a pair of swimming trunks and run outside leaving my flip flops behind I cannot not wait to feel that South East Asian Rain on my body. It’s different than Louisiana the Louisiana rain was always slightly cooler than the air you could feel every drop as it stung your body, here the rain is the same temperature as the air if not warmer the only stinging I feel is the sweat running off my forehead into my eyes. I go walking through the neighborhood in seconds I am one with the atmosphere my body is not wet it is immersed this is serious rain the visibility is next to zero if for no other reason than I cannot open my eyes to see without them being filled with the rain. No playmates to romp with and no grass to slide on I just walk. The neighbors are all sitting inside or on their covered front yards some are caught in the rain as they rush home on their motor scooters some walking with umbrellas.
Cars driving by splashing even more water upon me, but I don’t care. My neighbors all waving at me the children yelling out to me. I am beginning to be recognized and I think accepted I think they think I am just a little crazy walking in my shorts with bare feet in the pouring rain but I think they see the fun in it and they share in my delight. I am filled with every romantic notion and memory I have of surrendering to nature in a flash flood of a rain storm. Me and my cousins, South Florida Midnight swims, Venice as we ran huddled together looking for cover three to an umbrella our clothes entirely soaked to the skin, and Gene Kelly swinging on a lamp post singing in the rain. Then I hear my friend the neighborhood cantor as he sings singing out to God, my heart sings along, “I’m singing in the rain just singing in the rain what a glorious feeling I’m Hap, Hap, Happy again.” Let’s just hope I don’t catch my death or git hit by lite’en. I think I’ll pass swimming in the ocean this time the lighting is intense and I just might have run out my lite’en luck Swimming in the South Florida Rains. For now it does not get any better than this, and it does not need to. Cept for that oscillating fan that is waiting for me back at the Bungalow.

What Am I doing to Change The World

With all this awareness of the haves and the have nots. I have been giving so much thought to “what am I doing to change the world, to feed the planet, teach the children, house the homeless and so on and so forth. I think of two people I know and their children. I will not mention their names to protect their privacy I will refer to them a JR and CO.. The family, are acquaintances of mine dear friends of a dear friend. I do not know them well enough to be called friend however they are the type of people that in time with more contact and understanding I would be most honored to be called their friend. Anyhow the story is this (this is all second hand so if I get anything wrong please forgive me I am confidant that the core of the story is true and close enough to accurate and should be heard); Years ago the entire family Parents and three children two girls and a boy each adopted a child in an orphanage in a far away land somewhere in Africa. We all know of this sort of opportunity; send 10$’s 20$’s or so to a child once a month and they send you a picture of themselves along with a thank you note and they update you from time to time of their progress. Well as I said this went on for years. Then one day J and daughters take a trip to the orphanage to volunteer their time doing whatever is needed or asked of them. I believe this was a three week trip. They were very happy to see that all of these years their money had been well spent and in fact the people who were taking care of these displaced children were doing a great job regardless of the very limited resources they had to support them and their efforts. At some point J goes to the director of the facility and asks if what else they could do to help. I am not completely clear on how it went from here but the outcome of that conversation was that JR and Co. would build another orphanage along side the existing one. Now I know that many of us are skeptics and our minds are reeling with particle issues. Things like OK so now you have a building now what who is going to provide tools, JR and CO. Furniture, JR and CO. the list goes on and on. JR and CO. are very practical and successful people they know how to get things done. They saw a need it touched their heart and they acted. They did so without fanfare, or press releases. They did so without trying to raise capitol from their community and they did so without asking for any tax breaks. They just did it because it needed to be done they had the cash the resources and the heart to do it. This has all transpired over just the past three years as far as I know the Orphanage is complete and operational. I have heard through the grapevine the JR and CO have even gone so far as to formally adopt two or three of these children and move them to the states to raise as their own. The number is not important I suspect that by the time they are done they will adopt the whole damm village. But seriously this is not something to poke fun at and I do not mean to do so. The truth is they are the sort of people that just might their hearts are big enough.
So JR and company I publicly salute you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what I am unable and for inspiring me to do what I can, because of you the world is a better place.
So I ask myself what am I doing to change the world?

Survival Techniques

I love the sound of the tropics. The crickets, the birds, birds of all kinds, and the frogs. The frogs come in all shapes and sizes, there was a toad the size of my hand sitting at the entrance of a store, he was very happy to be just sitting there people were having to step over him to enter he was not bothered in the least. A little girl began to prod him with a stick and still he would not move finally he leapt and I mean leapt out of the way. His leap was a good 4 feet as he took flight his body stretched to no less that 18 inches, this was one big ass frog. I have seen many snakes most look harmless enough, big but harmless, no cobra’s yet. The carcasses of frogs and snakes are all over the road. Yesterday I came upon a medium sized snake in the process of crossing the road, I took two sticks and then picked him up to help him back into the bush. I am not sure which side of the road he wanted to go I took a guess based on the direction he was facing. He did not seem too happy that I decided to help him, he began to crawl up my sticks and was trying to get at me I twisted the sticks and he became wrapped around them as he reared back he looked as if he was going to strike at me, his mouth wide open his fangs clearly visible, I have no idea what sort of snake he was if he was poisonous or not but to me fangs mean bite and that means hurt poisonous or not. Not having any experience with snake handling I took no chances and I then threw him sticks and all in to the bush. Better he be a little pissed off than end up flattened by a passing car and better I stay alive than end up the dead or a wounded good Samaritan, or at least the bitten, Samaritan. The man who sings in the evening is definitely related to the sunset. He begins at 6:30 and continues into the evening I am not sure how long he chants and sings but it is for a considerable period I have heard him singing at 10:00. His voice is astoundingly beautiful. He sings with a clarity that is rare and enviable and at a volume that is hard to describe just know it fills the entire valley. He has a magnificent voice, rich, and with a soft velvety tone, I can imagine that he could sing anything you put in front of him, but he is not singing he is communing with God, this is one of the biggest treats of here for me I can listen to him for hours. This month is the Muslim time of fasting. I am in an area that is predominantly Muslim, they cannot eat past 6:30 am they then fast the entire day until 6:30 pm they cannot even drink water. At 2:pm they begin to cook. In places for long stretches, the roadside is lined with little motor scooter carts cooking everything one can imagine. Chicken is a prime item on the menu as is shrimp and squid. There are large vacant lots that fill up at 2:pm with food vendors of all kinds. The best part is that they all are cooking their wares. So one can wander through the food fair have your dinner one booth at a time and shop to take home something for later. Last night I toured a few of these food fairs ate more than I needed and took home enough food for two days I spent 2.00$’s. I had rice, squid, shrimps and chicken. Not all at the same time but over the course of about 2 hours. So much for my mango fast. I will do the mango fast but not today.
The shrimp was the best. I do like squid and this squid was practically wonderful tender and flavorful most everything comes cooked on a stick. But the shrimp was unique; this particular dish was prepared by placing the shrimps onto a piece of seaweed 4 or 5 to apiece battered and then lightly fried together. The shrimp stick to the seaweed and therefore served together, a sort of shrimp platter, it was a bit spicy but delicious, I will have this dish many times I suspect before I leave. I have found the ticket to breaking a cultural barrier. I am a bit of an oddity and I feel that when I enter or approach any of the natives they are apprehensive, I have taken to bowing to them with palms at my heart center, they immediately warm up. I apologize that I do not speak Thai and all the while I smile almost comically. This warms them and produces smiles all around whether or not the understand my words they understand my actions and they become very helpful and the experience of interaction is completely different than if I simply approach and try to communicate. I have even had booth keepers suggesting different dishes to me. They point, they pick up dishes and present them to me, and of course I accept. This is why I ended up eating more than my share while I was grazing yesterday.
I came upon some very large construction sights on my afternoon tour. There is a considerable amount of building going on here. Many high end and very luxurious. The prices are not cheap they compare with western prices less but comparable. A beautiful three bedroom Condo with a private pool and a view of the ocean will cost you 500,000 to 2,000,000 dollars and up. Everything is built of concrete and steel. They use stone everywhere, floors, walls, and stairs and the building facades are often stone. The theme is outside most of the dwellings have a central area that all of the rooms open too some with no walls at all only big sliding glass doors, that can be closed during the hottest of months so you can retreat into the comfort of the air conditioning. One of the construction sites I came upon was particularly large built on a hillside of rock it was really a cliff. The building site was somewhat remote. The most interesting piece of this to me is that right across the road from the building site was a very large shantytown. This is where the workers live. I have the idea that one day one the builders pulled up with trucks full of corrugated steel and dropped it off and let the workers build their temporary camp where they will live until the completion of the project. It is not a pretty sight it looks like the worse of slums. But the people all look happy as I was wandering around everyone I ran into was full of smiles and greetings. There were lots of well-kept dogs running around, as were children of all ages. The shantytown was clean and even though I have no idea how they manage the hygiene issues it appeared that the space was clean there was no foul odors or garbage.
The Thai people are very clean, at this very moment as I sit writing on my front porch there is a woman sweeping my front lawn! They do not have a strong body odor and their clothes are always clean. The construction site was crawling with workers they all appeared to be going about their business in a very relaxed manner, they work slow but there are lots of them so the job moves forward at an acceptable rate. There were women working along side the men and children wandering around everywhere. They seem oblivious to any safety standards that I am used too. They work in bare feet or at best sandals and certainly no hardhats. There were woman and children sweeping the roadside in front of the site with hand brooms the place was spotless. I cannot say that about any the construction sites I have worked on. In fact the mood and the production level and the cleanliness is unlike anything I have ever witness in all my years of working on similar sites. It makes me wonder; certainly I am losing some of my judgment of the exploitation of the workers perception very quickly. There is a traditional way of doing things everywhere and here is no different. As long as the people are happy and fulfilled then who can argue the right or wrong of it. I do wonder about the economics however. Either the land costs are exorbitant or there are a lot of people making huge profits with these developments. I visited a rock yard, a lumberyard and a nursery. Slate goes at the retail level for 15.00$’s a square meter, and sandstone blocks 18” x 24” the same. Tress and plants are equally inexpensive the most expensive tree I found was 30 dollars, a 12’ tall palm with a huge and very beautiful bulb for its base, the equivalent in the states would cost 250.00$’s minimum. Jasmine trees and I mean trees 7 feet tall were priced at 20.00$’s. One could plant a topical paradise for a couple of thousand dollars. The lumber was equally inexpensive, Teak and a vast array of exotic woods all pennies to the dollar of what we spend in the US. I even went to a fixture store, to see if this was where the cost lies. Even here the prices were less than in the states. You can find all the modern fixtures here that we have in the US and the prices are 30% less. So if labor is a fraction of the cost of the west and the materials the same then the land must be where the major investment lies. If this is not the case the as I said there are some big cats making big bucks capitalizing on these conditions.
Could it be done any different? I do not know if they were to pay the workers more how would that affect the culture and the economy. Does money have the same value here to the common man as it does in the west I do not know? As long as people are happy and fulfilled who can argue. I do know that the Thai economy is suffering; it is in an up swing but is suffering nonetheless. Income taxes are low and I was told there is no annual property tax once you buy property it is yours, period, I will research this one further. So my first impression of the state of the lifestyles in Thailand is positive. There is abundant food and there seems to be work. I think of the shantytown in Bangkok with the population of 500,000 and I recognize this a contradiction to what I see here in Phuket and I also recognize that I have not traveled anywhere else in Thailand so my observations are not completely valid.
Who really knows the whole story of this very complicated issue. I certainly do not I can only share my limited view to this point. I look forward to learning and understanding more. I did have the idea to go to speak with a builder just around the corner from where I live. They are building three houses at the same time the project is still at the foundation level. My idea was to ask if I could join the crew as a volunteer. It would be fun for me, and it would give me a way to become closer to the people. I decided against this the reason is that if the developer was to take me up with my offer I was afraid that he might send someone else home I do not want someone to lose a job just so I can play around. Oh well it was a fun idea, just not practical. Besides it is not like I am bored or have nothing productive of my own to accomplish. Today I will go to the beach I discovered a very beautiful beach nearby, with white sand, cabana’s and women giving massages and surf, big surf I only need to find a surfboard. More later on that one. Christian are you listening I found the surf! Thinking of you girlfriend.

Too Hot Too Think

It’s hot, too hot too think, too hot too play guitar, not, too hot too feel. I think of the opening scene in “Apocalypse Now” Martin Sheen, he is in a hotel, in Hanoi, Vietnam War, awaiting orders; he is in limbo I feel like I am that scene. Dramatic I know but this is my state of mind. I had made many different plans on how I would use my time here. I have multiple writing projects to finish, some to begin. I planned to play music, I brought a hard drive full of photos to edit and I have work to do for my business, and yet I cannot move, other than my body dancing inside at the scale of 8, (message to Luca) but I can feel.
There is nothing like being completely alone for an extended period of time to give you the space to go deep into your psyche. For me at this time and space it is unavoidable there is so much up for me now. The place is not important; the alone factor is the important element. It helps to be a stranger in a strange land. The mangos are fantastic; I think I will go on a fruit fast for some time. I have not had any alcohol or caffeine since I arrived and now I am smoking my last cigarette, I will not buy anymore. The caffeine withdrawals are still with me I have had a headache from the moment I arrived. I try not to worry about issues at home I can do nothing about; I look to my heart and try to focus. I ran into a friend of Rhonda’s today, I asked him some questions of places to eat and such, as we part he says have fun. Thank you Nikorn but I don’t think this part of my journey is about fun, it is about exploration, focus, ego, personal mastery and healing. It has been along time since I have had the time and space to do this work, I best get started. I need to break out of this funk, I am in a downward spiral I am stronger than this, I can move through this. I know I have done it before too many times I fear. First step I think is to take a 24-hour meditation. I know I cannot meditate in the thoughtless state for 24 hrs but I know I can lay still and move in and out of the meditative state. Meditation is not only about thoughtlessness it is also about cultivating the presence of God through contemplation, reflection, prayer; formal cogitation.
I open a large bottle of water and lie down to begin my journey. It is 4:pm it is just beginning to cool down. I feel the breeze of the fan; I listen to its gentle hum. My mind immediately goes into a whirlwind of thoughts I focus and bring myself to quiet, this works for a short period, and then off I go again, this time I am dreaming; I am dreaming of Uncle Bob. I think that I am in a vision state, is he speaking to me, has he come to visit; or is this just my creation and does it matter. We are in a place not unlike where I am now a bit more remote but similar. I am walking up the hill to a dwelling it is the jungle the earth is black the trees deep green and full of blossoms the voice of the jungle is loud as it calls out to itself; my legs give way I fall I cannot walk, I cannot move. I think I can crawl, or can I, will I, have I. I find myself magically in his space. The visit goes on for a very long time, long enough for me to remember and to make notes along the way to be sure I would not forget. He is dying there are family who have come to say good by. He does not speak to me I am an outsider; I feel that I am the ghost; they do not know I am there. This vision is full of little images of past and present to many to describe, I have begun my journey. My back hurts the motor scooter and all the typing is taking its toll on my body. The night is cool I am thankful the cool air refreshing me and supporting me on my journey. I sleep, this time without dreams I wake in complete darkness the sky is covered in clouds I can feel the moisture in the air I think it will rain soon. I am maybe at the half way point, 12 hours into my stillness I am being conscious not to change my position I do not want to sleep the whole time I want to loose thought and feeling and journey I attempt to lie still on my back the temptation to roll over and hug the pillow is strong I resist and fade back into meditation then I have to laugh as I do, I realize that you cannot meditate and congratulate yourself for doing so at the same time. Thoughtlessness is very difficult for me I rely on all the tools I have been taught over the years. I am breathing in light and out darkness, focus on breath, focus on breath, I drift into another dream state I know I am not sleeping I am aware of all that surrounds me the darkness, the heat, laying on my back, my breath, my heartbeat. I comeback into thinking “This is easy but it is dark and cool and only 12 hours, how will I feel when it is light out and hot in the midday sun at 20 hours.” I keep coming back to visions related to healing. Healing the planet, healing me, this becomes a recurring theme in my vision as I drift in and out of thoughtlessness sleep and vision state. The sun is beginning to rise I can see the light fill my room, feel the heat as it begins to radiate I can feel the humidity as the moisture in the atmosphere is heating up to the point of almost becoming steam. The clouds begin to cast a shadow coming between the hot sun and the earth. The minutes and hours merge together in a void of timelessness, thoughtlessness.
As I pen this, my big nap is behind me. I am happy to say I feel it worked, I feel much better my headache is gone and my heart is lighter I have busted loose from the funk! It was easy and really it was fun. I feel inspired and invigorated. I am now ready to start working. My spirit is cleaner and my heart is calm. Now I am wondering how to communicate my feelings and experiences in this blog without being uncomfortably transparent. This is a travel journey not a book and many of my experiences, feelings and issues are very personal. I have given you just a surface sample of the overall and as I move into “the land of introspection” the next part of this journey, I question how I can communicate in integrity and at the same time not get to deep into my personal issues. Already I find that I have ventured into experiences and feelings of a personal nature that are on the edge of uncomfortable for me. I do not want this blog to become about me but for it to focus on my journey and my observations of, and how, they can relate to you. I understand that in doing so I cannot avoid subjects of a personal nature. In fact it was this very issue that made me hesitant to commit to the blog in the first place. Up until now I have been able to be “Comfortably Personal” I fear that there will be times to come, that my edge will be challenged. To all of you who are following along, thank you, I am honored. Many of you are old friends and many new and some of you I have never met. Those of you who have connected with me and made me aware of your presence I think of you and I feel sometimes that I am writing directly too you as if I am writing you a letter. Some of you have said that this blog is giving you insight to how little you have known me and you are grateful to be able to get to know me better I understand this. Some of you have told me that you have been inspired by the blog to make changes in your life, some of you have found answers to your own personal questions. I am very happy for all of this and it is a piece of my inspiration in continuing. I would love to be able to understand many of my friends as deeply as I am exposing myself here. We simply do not do this in our culture. When was the last time you visited with a friend in any depth when there was no drama or gossip to drive you. I hope this blog inspires all of you to go a little deeper and show a little more of yourselves to those you love and those who love you. Mom, I appreciate that this is an opportunity for you and I to connect deeper than we other wise would have been able. I am grateful for this I hope you can see and hear me speaking to you. I love you.
During the big Nap this poem I wrote last year in Paris kept running through my mind I do not know what that was about maybe it “the Poem wants to be heard.” It is standing up to be counted, as with any creation, after it is created; it has a life of it’s own. Anyhow this is the first and I mean first poem I ever wrote I have only written one since.
Hope you like it.
I almost forgot; you must pronounce Paris like a Parisian, as it rhymes with me as in Parie.

If I moved to Paris
Would you have lunch with me
On the Champs Élysées
In grand Paris
I could toast your smile
Your eyes would tell
If there was a place for me
In Grand Paris
If I held your hand
On the river Seine
Could I ask of you
To be in light with me
Despite the rain
To hold you close
By the river Seine
Would be the beginning of an end
Of a life of pain
Of not having lunch with you
In Grand Paris
Or without your hand in mine
By the river Seine.

The Sign Says Do Not Enter

There are going to be some posts that are a bit out of sync with time, as am I.
This is night one Kamala Beach, Phuke, Thailand.
As I sit typing away on the porch of my bungalow the sun is beginning to set and I am taken back by the sound of a single male voice. Beautiful loud and powerful he chants and sings. I have no idea if his singing is related to the sunset but just this second he is joined by the crickets they have begun their concert, the volume is astounding. I am on the outskirts of a small village and the jungle is still a big part of the landscape. This being my first day and now my first night I am becoming aware little by little what this means. First of all if you do not like to sleep to the sound of crickets you could have a problem here. After I settled into the Bungalow played a little guitar I tried to take a nap I am exhausted. No sooner than I lay down does the electricity go out. This means the fan stops, I cannot use my computer as I have no idea when they electricity will return and my battery is low. It is too hot to read and to hot to write and I have a major headache. I decide to take a ride into town on the Rhonda’s motor scooter, I may be exhausted but I am also very hungry. I travel down the highway to Patong. This is one of the biggest resorts on the island and famous to me, anyway, for the party scene. Lots of music, go-go bars, and massage parlors; both traditional and the ones that are really covers for prostitution. No one keeps this a secret, prostitution is technically illegal here but apparently not only is it accepted but supported. As you walk down the street passing the go-go bars and the massage parlors the girls solicit their wares. Calling out to you all sorts of suggestions and ideas for a good time; I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. No judgment from me but this is not my thing 1st I do not like to be accosted on the street and second it’s not my thing. In Thailand this apart of the culture, these girls are not just here for the tourist but also the Thai men. Many of them visit the parlors on a regular basis and even keep the same girl as their #1 concubine for years. When I was in Bangkok I was taken to two massage parlors one for the middle class and one was the top club in Bangkok. These clubs are not cheap and the business is very professional. I was curious and wanted to see first hand the famous Bangkok massage business. All I can say is it was very odd, but yet very civilized. These are the places the Thai men go. My escort was a Thai man so I take his word on the subject as valid. The Girls sit in an area that is set up like bleachers. They are fully clothed and they just sit and talk among themselves and watch TV occasionally making eye contact with a little flirt. The men are in a bar where they sit drink and scope out the women. They either have a drink and then leave as we did or they pick a girl, they then tell the attendant of their choice and off they go for the two hour tour. My friend told me that is very common and a very accepted part of the Thai culture. He admitted to have a relationship of his own for over six years with the same girl. I asked him if he loved her, he looked at me funny and replied no not at all, not like a girlfriend but as a friend. I asked him if they kissed and he told me that Thai people do not kiss that kissing is not apart of their culture, but that the girls will do anything you want because once you close that door you are the boss. I have always felt that all vices should be legal. If it is not hurting any one other than the person that is making the choices, than why create more troubles with judgement and punishment. I will tell you that I did see some men going on the two hour tour that where down right un-mateable. These girls give them a place to go, where, even if for just two hours they feel love, and feel good about themselves. Even if the girls are acting it works and the men go home with a “Happy Ending.” Now I am in the party capitol of Thailand, Patong. It is all I expected it to be and a little more. I am here as I said I am hungry and I know that there will be plenty of restaurants that cater to the tourist and that I would not get any surprises regarding my meal; anyway I also get to see the famous Patong. I pick a restaurant on the beach, as I expected the menu was in multiple languages Thai, English, Italian and German every thing from pizza to hamburgers as well as Thai. I order Thai food I am in Thailand after all. My meal was very marginal and very expensive by Thai standards. I decide then and there that will never walk into a restaurant while I am here that has any English on the sign; if there is English on the sign it says “Do Not Enter.” I eat wander around and go for a swim then home to bed. Hopefully the electricity is on now. It is now day two. The “Do Not Enter” sign idea, made for an amusing experience when I went for lunch. I asked the boy at the Internet spot for a recommendation of a restaurant he suggested a few but all were for tourist I explained to him again that I wanted to go to a Thai restaurant that the locals liked, he finally understood, and made a suggestion. Once I arrived not only was there no Thai on the sign but also no one in the restaurant spoke English there was no menu just a board with the choices. Of course I have no idea what to order, however I take a seat and a woman approaches me she speaks to me, not knowing how to reply, I just rub my belly. She looks at me strange and walks away. She is friendly but confused as how to deal with me. After a few minutes I see some food coming from the kitchen that looked great. I motion to the woman she comes over I point to the food and again rub my belly, this time she really smiles a big smile and walks away in a few minutes the food arrived just as I ordered, it was fantastic! When I go to pay my bill I ask how much using the universal language of rubbing my fingers together, she replies in Thai and I do not understand a man sitting nearby told me 50 Baht. The woman said something to him with a bit of an edge and the man shakes his head and says no, no. I think that the woman was trying to charge me more than the local charge but the man in his innocence was just trying to help. I was charged the regular price thanks to him, 75 cents, for a great lunch; now I feel like I am getting settled. I know where to eat and how, I know where to buy fresh fruit and water and I know where the locals play soccer every night. So I have food water and entertainment.
I am a happy camper; sunburned but happy. I applied what I thought a sufficient dose of sunscreen to my lily white head, I am sure this saved me from disaster, but I ended up with a pink head from lily white to pink. The one thing that keeps coming up for me is that regardless of cultural differences people are the same everywhere. When I was standing at the counter of a mini market buying time for my phone a little boy of maybe 5 began to pull at my shirt. I turn to him he begins speaking to me as he is pulling on his own shirt really a smock. I have no idea what he is saying but I engage with him with smiles and love, his Mom says “he go to school.” I get it that this is his first day and he is proud and excited and wants to show off his uniform to every one he meets; people are the same everywhere.

Kamala Home Sweet Home

As the plane is making the finial approach to land on Phuket the turbulence if frightening, I am not concerned. I know from experience that when an airplane comes into a very hot area that the updraft from the atmosphere causes, creates a wall the plane must pass through. This happens whenever I fly into Vegas, Miami, and Palm Springs. But remember that less that a week ago this very runway was the scene of a fatal crash killing all on board. The passengers on my flight are fearful. The woman across the aisle is silently praying the man next to me is busy comforting his companion and the stewardess sitting facing me is biting her lip. She sees me notice her in her fear and quickly catches herself and smiles. The plane lands we are safe all on board begin to clap and cheer. As we dock and begin to unload everyone is laughing and excited. This is a vacation spot and a dream destination for most on board. I think back to my Vegas flights. If you have every flown into Vegas then maybe you can relate. The arriving flight is always full of joyful energy for the same reason the Phuket flight is, everyone is excited to get on with their vacation. The difference in the Vegas flights is the return; people on return Vegas flights are not all in particularly good moods, no need to wonder why. I am not happy, I am excited, but I have a splitting headache. I am hungry and a little nervous for the experience that waits. The sun is hot here much hotter than Bangkok. I can feel it burning my skin. I wonder what the GI’s in Vietnam used for sunscreen; I wonder what was the war budget for sunscreen. I jump into a taxi, the driver does not speak any English, I tell him Kamala Beach, Fantasea, as this is what I was instructed to do. He looks at me as if I am crazy and laughs. Not a chuckle but a full on laugh, I soon find out why, I am an American casually dressed but I see later that I am dressed very nice, I have 4 bags. When we arrive at Fantasea his amusement is instantly clear. This is an amusement park however it is deserted. There are no cars in the lot and no people in sight and it is hot very hot. The driver is pulling into the parking lot moving very slowly a snails pace. He does not know what to do. I tell him to stop of course he figures it out at some point and pulls over, I get out of the taxi and pay the agreed price and he drives away. I am left standing in an abandon parking lot with 4 bags and a policeman or security guard who appeared as I was exiting the taxi. There is an area with some benches and shade. I set up camp there and call the man who has been pre-arranged to pick me up at Fantasea upon my arrival; he does not answer the phone. I try again after a very short time and we connect. His English is good but he is difficult to understand over a cell connection and a thick accent. He tells me that he will not be picking me up but that he will send someone else. I am relaxed hot but relaxed. One thing about committed action is it gives me a sense of calm, nothing can happen except what will and I am ready. In 5 min a young man pulls up on a motor scooter stops and greets me by name, he sees my 4 bags and has no idea how we are going to manage. He suggests that we take four separate trips as we can only manage one bag at a time on the motor scooter, if that. Of course this is not an option. How can I leave 1st three then 2 then 1 of my bags in an empty parking lot? Without any alternate solution I step back and look at him, the policeman/security guard, and turn around to survey the scene. I notice that the Taxi Driver did not leave, he is waiting at the entrance of the parking lot approximately 200 yards away. The driver is smart or curios or both, either way he is waiting to see what going to happen with me. I raise my arm he drives over and we reload my bags into his taxi and we follow Sanon my pick-up to my new home for 5 weeks. The bungalow that Rhonda has provided me is perfect; it also comes with the use of her motor scooter! I open the windows as I do a small lizard scurries across the windowsill, I am in the tropics, no doubt. It is nice to be in her space, pictures of her and her loved ones, books, CD’s a boom box and a TV. Rhonda is a beautiful spirit. I do not know her well but we have always had a connection. I feel her spirit and I feel right at home. She has a guitar. So this is the first order of business, I pull it out of the case tune up and sit to play. I am happy I thought to bring along a set of strings, but for now I just play.

Commited Action

I decided when I first found out that I was to come to Thailand that the theme of this part of my journey would be ego. To support this I decided I would shave my head. I woke up this morning my first in Kamala and I began to question my commitment. I then remembered one of my own favorite sayings. “ The most powerful thing one can do is to make a commitment to oneself and keep it; the most disempowering thing one can do is to make a commitment to oneself and break it.” The sun was just rising the roosters singing their morning songs I jumped out of bed grabbed a pair of scissors from Rhonda’s desk went outside and began to chop at my hair. Talk about committed action once you take one big chunk out of your hair there is no turning back I smiled inside as I realized what I had begun. After cutting my hair as short as I could with the scissors I went inside and began the shaving process. I you have never done this you have no idea how much of a process this is. I only have a face razor and I quickly become aware of how inefficient a tool it is for shaving your head, however I am committed. I get to the point that I am bald with a few patches to go, my razor is getting dull and I end up cutting my ear. I decide to take a break and go to the beach for a swim. It is an hour past sunrise the world around me still sleeping but slowly waking at the same time. With blood dripping down my neck I walk the 15 minute walk to the beach strip my clothes off ignoring the not safe to swim signs and I dive into the ocean. The salt water stings my cut at first but then it stops the water is so warm that in moments I feel as if I am in a warm bath. I remember that someone told me once that the planet earth has the same percentage of water on it that the human body possesses, and that the salt composition of the two are the same. I do not know if this is true I never bothered to do any research, but it being a romantic notion I chose to simply believe. As I swim in the warm ocean with my baldhead I began to feel as if I was bathing in the life of the planet, bathing in the womb of Gaia. I realized that as wonderful and powerful this was for me that the current was taking me further from the beach. There is a reason they put up the sign. I decide that I better end this part of the experience and swim back in before I end up past the point of no return. The current is very strong and I am not a practiced swimmer I need to stop and rest. I lay on my back and as I float I do a frog kick, as I did not want to loose any ground or sea in this case. I am sure it helped but nonetheless I was still carried a bit further out to sea. At this point I realize that there is no stopping this time no turning back I basically begin swimming for my life. Making it to shore I am exhausted I am panting and I fall into the sand. I began to laugh at myself the degree I will go to feel to heal or to just feel. On the way back I stop at the local 7-11 store that is just opening and I by a couple of razors; if you could only have seen the look on the girls faces. I thought I was further along in the process, I thought they were amused by the sheer whiteness of my now bald head, I am sure they were but after I returned home and began again I realized how much I still had to go basically I had huge spots that were undone. I am sure I was a very funny sight at 7 in the morning in Thailand dripping wet buying razors with a partially shaven head. I am now finished I am as bald as the day I was born probably more so. A terrible sight my head is so white and I am sure that I look ten years older then I remember this is about ego right?
It is also about committed action.
It is also about remembering to apply sunscreen to my lilly white head!

Banned From Bangkok

Debbie, Jessie, Monica, Jenny and Shannon; I hear-by decree that none of you shall ever enter Bangkok. Not that I have anything to say about it but it is for your own good. This city is a merchandizing nightmare. I ventured out on my own into the city today, jumping onto the Sky Train; I explored the city from three stories up. It was suggested to me by a couple at breakfast sitting one table away from me. They have been here numerous times and told me that it was must do to Sky Train to the Central Mall. I did but quickly became overwhelmed. The only way I can think to describe my impression is to evoke
an idea of a Persian Bazaar of old, married with the movie Blade Runner. There are shops of all kinds jammed together in a vast space 6 stories high encompassing two city blocks. Some of the stores are as small as 6x6 and one filled half of an entire floor this, was the Ikea/Target store. The rest varied from clothing, electronics… no I cannot do it; it would take a thousand words to name all of the different offerings in this space. I will tell you of just one corner; there was a metal artist who built bizarre futuristic sculptures in the liking of Terminator or the beast in Alien and all of them larger than life, some priced at 40,000.00 $’s. This was next door to a jewelry store, next door to a clothing store next door to a electronic shop, next door to a toy store, I turn the corner and I walk into a huge food market again with individual kiosks, with unlimited offerings there is even a Dunken Donuts. This food market is no different than any fantasy I have ever had of an Asian food market the only difference is this one is in side this huge mall and has a Dunken Donuts!
From what I saw today I think this entire city is a mall and what is not a mall is filled with street vendors and food carts. You name it and it is for sale here. Cheap stuff, expensive stuff, stuff, stuff and more stuff. Overwhelmed I decide to explore further but it did not change, everywhere I went there was more stuff for sale. And as Thailand is most famous for textiles the best deals were in the clothing stores. I am sorry girls but Bangkok is a merchandizing black hole that would swallow you up and I fear I would never see you again. First of all it would take you Shannon one week just to get through the first floor of Central Mall. It’s no secret that you are the deal queen methodically working the racks, looking for that special gem. Jenny and Jessie you would go straight to Fendi and Louis V, Debbie you would be bouncing around like a pinball and Monica you would be laughing your ass off moving between the crews. There is a mall next door to Central that was again bigger than any I have every seen but this one was the exclusive mall every high end store that exists was present in the once again six story space, and did I mention the jewelry! And watches I have never seen so many watch stores in my life much less in the same place at the same time, watches I have never heard of. This is a strange city, as I was walking through this maze I began to wonder who buys all this stuff then I began to notice that all the stores were busy. For a city that has the reputation of extreme rich and extreme poor there sure was a huge herd of people buying everything in sight! As I have already mentioned the best deals are textile related and or hand made. The only thing cheaper in Bangkok than clothes is people. This is a city where sex can cost less than a Martini. I have seen this before but it has been a long time and I had forgotten how sad and confusing this is for me. Standing on the train landing outside of the fancy mall I look down and see that right next door to the mall is a huge shantytown. Most of the dwellings made of corrugated aluminum some as simple as lean-to’s. It appeared that the kitchens are communal as are any facilities they may have or not. These are people who will never walk into the mall next door and most likely never think about the possibility.
I have always been confused by this extreme separation of those who have choices and those who do not those who are safe and those who are not. While passing one of these Shantytowns I asked ET my guide if this was common in Bangkok. He told me that there is one that is home to 500,000 people. He said this is a very dangerous place drugs, prostitution, mostly controlled by gangs, I trust him on this one.
I flash back again too 1962 visiting Manila. My Dad’s brother was one of the riches men in the Philippines Uncle Bob. For forty years his wealth extended to Hong Kong, Bangkok and beyond. We were there for Christmas Uncle Bob gave me a very nice watch. We were taking a tour of some of his business’s the main stop was to be his number one TV station, channel seven. He loved his TV station. Even though he was into big time business he always stayed committed to his Lucky Seven Children’s show; he was the Captain Kangaroo of the Philippines his stage name was Uncle Bob. Everyone in the Philippines knew him as Uncle Bob even his business relations called him this it became his name. As we were traveling on this tour I remember sitting in the back of the limousine with my Dad, Uncle Bob and my cousin Leslie. We were going through one of the poorest sections of Manila. At that time you could not go from any point to another and avoid this. At one point a crowd of people gathered around the car the driver could not move forward as he might hurt someone. They were putting their faces and hands on the windows of the car to see who was inside. My Dad and Uncle Bob and my cousin Leslie were totally unaffected by this I however was. As I sat and watched Bob and my dad sit drinking there scotch and smoking their cigarettes people who were the furthest extreme from this reality were smashing their faces against the window of the car they just kept on talking. The driver rolled down his window and tossed a cigarette outside, the crowd rushed after it and a fight broke out over the smoke this broke up the crowd enough to allow us to drive away. As we were; I noticed a little boy squatting to defecate.
I was so confuse by this that I carried the memory with me and I was torn. How could my Dad and Uncle Bob both my hero’s up to this point just sit there and not be affected. I asked myself why does the rest of the world let people live this way. I understand better now but at that time I was young and very impressionable. No one took the time to explain it to me and I from that point forward carried a negative judgment of not only of the two of them but of capitalists in general. I made some of my life choices as a result of this and I wonder if there would have been a different outcome in my life had I not carried this wound with me for so many years.
Truth is Uncle Bob was a hero to the people of the Philippines not all of course but he did have a very positive impact on the economics and the culture of the Philippines. He gave back in many ways. After Uncle Bob died a few years back while visiting Las Vegas a few months after his death I took it upon myself to speak to the people I came upon working there who were Filipino. There is a huge population of Filipino people working in the Casinos in Las Vegas. I first confirmed that they were Filipino and then I introduced myself as Uncle Bob’s nephew (I was his only real nephew.) They all remembered him as most of the people I spoke with were close to my age and therefore grew up with the Lucky Seven Club. One woman told me that I should be very proud to be the nephew of Uncle Bob, she went on to say that Uncle Bob was very good to the Philippines he was a hero to the people. When they buried Uncle Bob the government sent an armed guard and they gave him a 21 gun salute and presented the family with an award of some sort. So in the end they gave him a hero’s burial. I wish I would have known Uncle Bob better and I am sorry that I judged him without understanding. There are many people in the world who are doing great work in supporting the growth of the world they should all be honored and I only wish there was more we could do. There is so much to do, and then I ask myself “What am I doing to feed the poor?”
Or more simply "To Ghange the World"

The Oriental Bangkok

If you ever want to have the experience of feeling as a King or a Queen I recommend highly the Oriental Bangkok. In my life I have had extensive hotel experience. As a child my family traveled a great deal and my father was never one to go second-class. We even lived in a hotel one time in Rome. As an adult I have continued to travel a fair amount and have been privileged to stay in some of the best hotels in the world. Some of these hotels are fancy and some old world elegant and some resort chic. I was once upgraded to a 2,000 square foot suite in the Bellagio hotel Las Vegas for eight nights, over the top luxury. My point in the background rundown is to qualify my evaluation of my experience here at the Oriental Bangkok; this hotel has all the others beat, hands down.
I chose the Oriental because thus far into my healing journey my sabbatical I have been fortunate to be 50% under budget so I decided to go for the best in Bangkok. The hotel was recommended to me by a friend who travels here frequently and I am very happy to have made the call asking for the recommendation.
After 37 hours of travel and no sleep the night before I was very happy to have made the choice. I was met at the airport by a very charming, handsome Thai man in an equally handsome suit. He was almost jumping for joy when I acknowledged him with my name on his card at the baggage claim. All smiles and bows he greets me and takes charge of my bags. From that point I knew I was in for a very special experience. He was greeting me as if he knew me and he was welcoming me home. He walks me maybe 100 feet where we are met by yet another man with the same charm and attention greeting me by name. I ask I we could wait outside so I could have a cigarette they say of course Mr. Stewart. As I am casually enjoying my 1st smoke in 40 hours, they ask if they could take my bags to the car. I then realize that the car had been waiting all along and the crew was just waiting on me not wanting to rush me in anyway, at the Oriental you are the boss. I turn and immediately see ET my driver in a white suit and a very smart white formal hat standing with the door open waiting for me with his sparkling new 7series BMW sedan. As the other two load my luggage into the trunk ET welcomes me with cold water and a cold towel to comfort me, in the lap of luxury, and I am here less than 15 min. As we drive I ask ET for suggestions on how to make the most of my three days in Bangkok, he asks me what I have heard of Bangkok and did I have any ideas of my own. I mention the river, the reclining Buddha, and the Grand Place. As ET was explaining the process of accomplishing these few items on my agenda, I ask him if he could recommend a guide to help me around and learn, and one who would know the city as a native. ET laughs and tells me that as long as I am here he will take care of everything reminding me that I am the boss. ET suggests that I spend my first day sleeping and relaxing at the hotel pool, I agree that this is the best idea, and then we make plans for him to pick me up at 9:am the following day for a tour of the city. I ask him if we would be doing so in the BMW he says of course Mr. Stewart. I also ask him if there is any time limit on this experience, ET replies “Mr. Stewart when you are with me you are the boss we go where you say and stay as long as you like.” I ask ET to just call me Stewart, It was difficult for him to drop the Mr. but I am not comfortable with so much formality, he agrees. I am looking forward to my first class tour of Bangkok with my new friend ET. The rate of this service is very reasonable. I am writing this days after my arrival, the day after my tour with ET, and I can now say that I highly recommend this experience. It is affordable, and this city is difficult to navigate, in short, dollars well spent. I mean really, where else can you find a personal tour guide in a 100,000.00-dollar car for an all day experience for the price of a beautiful shirt. ET was fantastic we had a great time. I will tell you more about this later, back to the hotel.

When we arrived at the hotel, the flagship of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel group, I am greeted by two greeters one for my bags and the other to welcome me and to present me with a beautiful bouquet of jasmine flowers the fragrance overwhelming, he opens the door and introduces me to my hotel assistant, he bows, everyone bows and knows your name. He checks me in and takes me too my room. After a quick tour of the beautiful room he tells me Mr. Stewart it now time for you to go to sleep you have had a very long day! I not only am getting great service and a very warm welcome but I am being gently guided in my exhausted state, I love it! He bows says good night backing through the doorway he says welcome the Oriental Hotel and he leaves me to my rest. I start my bath and begin to notice the beauty of the room there are flowers everywhere in the bathroom next to the bed, there are flowers on the desk there is even an orchid in the soap dish. I take my long awaited bath in the large tub surrounded in beautiful tile. I did not even have to open my bags as everything I could need was provided, bath salts, dental kit, shaving kit, body lotion, any body product you could imagine or need. After my bath I dry and then apply powder too my entire body, between my toes, behind my ears. The last time I had any powder on my body was most likely when I was a baby, but tonight I was not going to miss any opportunity to continue to pamper myself to the style I am very quickly becoming accustomed. I turn down the sheets open the window and shades as I want to be sure to see the sunrise. It is 2am I have been traveling for 40 hours, I lay awake on the bed and I feel a cool breeze wash over my body. I smile that even in this hot and humid climate there is relief a cool breeze coming off the river directly below my 7th story window. I had to laugh at my undying romantic nature, the breeze was not coming from the river at all it was the air conditioning system! Completely quiet and un-noticeable. I close the window with a chuckle. No need for the river breeze besides the room is so quiet I feel as if I am in a womb. I fade in and out of sleep for the four hours till sunrise, I am so comfortable not restless at all. I will sleep later, I now need to unpack and take some pictures of Bangkok coming alive on the river. I am very hungry and I look forward to the riverside buffet. I am the first to arrive at 6:30 the buffet does not open until 7:00 but this is no problem I am seated in the best seat on the terrace, offered something to drink and I then wait for the buffet to open. This somewhat of a challenge as I have not had a proper meal in two days and the smell of bacon is making me even hungrier! The buffet was up to the standards I am becoming to expect from the Oriental. Basically anything one could desire for breakfast is available.
The buffet is designed for all taste, American, European, Korean, Chinese, Thai, the juice selection alone is worth the price of admission. I have been relaxing on the terrace enjoying two and a half hours eating slowly and taking in all that surrounds me. The second arrival to the buffet is a 7-year-old precocious young American boy. As he enters it appears as if he is right at home he is alone. He is greeted as an adult and by name, he tells the woman who greets him that he will need a table for six because he will be joined later by his family. If there is any hotel you can let your child wander around in unattended it is here. I flash back to 1962. My family and I traveling through Hawaii, to Manila, and finally Hong Kong. Being the odd man out in my family the youngest of three I was a very independent young man much like the young boy being seated. My first night in Honolulu I could not sleep and wandering through the hotel much like the one I am in now. Beautiful tropical, but this one at the north point of Waikiki Beach. The women in the lobby greeted me and asked what I was doing up in the middle of the night. I explained I could not sleep they suggested I have a seat in a huge oversized chair in the lobby. They made me some crispy cinnamon toast accompanied with a glass of the best orange juice I had ever tasted, in minutes after finishing my midnight snack, I the new transient hotel mascot was dead to the world curled up in my big overstuffed bed in the lobby being watched over by my new girlfriends at the front desk only to be discovered by my mother 9 or so in the morning.
A fond memory, thanks to the Oriental I can relive.
Enough of the hotel review I will write more about this in future posting as this was only my first day and I have some catch up to do.
I have stacks of notes at least three days worth but in truth I am challenged on how to present it all. Bangkok is taking me places in my spirit I did not expect.
Stay tuned more to come I am of to Phuket in the morning. Love to all~!~
No I was not on the flight that crashed. A stroke of luck, as that was the first plan; to arrive in Phuket the same day as the crash and on the same airline but as mentioned earlier I was so impressed with the Oriental that I decided to stay on for a few more days. Is it too much to say the Oriental Bangkok saved my life? Maybe but what the hell I do believe in fate and luck and Karma. Who knows and does it really matter I am here and tomorrow I will be there.

PS: This is not a paid endorsement not even a room upgrade just sharing my experiences.

Hang in there

I have written so much but all on a scratch pad
need to transcribe will do some posting tonight
Bangkok is bring up many thoughts and experiences to share
And to think I was thinking I would have a hard time with
inspiration for the blog compared to Venice.
Not! I am off on a tour of the city today. It is still monsoon season but I love it
Hot stickey........ Bangkok
Till Later

As Time Goes By

The flight attendant reached across me offering some water to me gentleman in the window seat I am on the isle. I am watching “Streetcar Named Desire.” Blance is in the process of hooking Mitch and reeling him in. Not my favorite scene however I do feel the movie is one of the best. The amazing cast, a simple story filled with passion and the cost of loss, and survival it makes me uneasy my heart feeling her pain and desperation. As the attendant leans forward she notices that she is compromising my view with the water glass, of the video monitor embedded in the back panel of the seat in front of me. She stops retreats bows to me re-tacks the water glass and delivers to the man in the window seat, this time without obstructing my view of the movie. I am flying on Korean air. If you lean back in your seat you are considerate of the person behind you, subtle but I feel the curtain parting ever so slightly a vision into the Asian experience that awaits.
When was the last time you saw “Street Car Named Desire?” Simplicity can be so very complicated it is painful to see people suffer, especially when it is from the inside out.
The most difficult to heal to understand the saddest part is that in most cases all any of us need is truth compassion and understanding. Interesting I seem to relate to Blance more than any other character in the movie, this is a sign of a great story. Funny the movie I watched prior was 300 the story of three hundred Spartan warriors holding on to and protecting the fabric of their lives in the face of terrible odds. Easy to understand from a man that I can identify with the entire cast of the Spartan warriors. Honor and freedom fighting for what you love, and believe in. The fabric of Blanches life has now been ripped entirely in two. Desperation all hope lost and yet she fights to the last hoping only to retain some dignity in the face of her total demise, for now. I think I will watch Casablanca next I am on a roll, twelve hours through the looking glass a fitting way to pass the time ripping my heart out making me think, letting me feel.
Play it again Sam, “As Time goes by.” Here’s looking at you kid.

And She Sleeps

Debbie lay beside me deep in sleep. I have always been jealous of her ability to simply shut her eyes and sleep. If I could have this sort of sleep experience I imagine I simply would surrender to sleep, this is not my fate. I am a restless spirit my mind difficult to slow down my body rarely gets tired and my heart is in a perpetual state of bliss and ache. If some people are two faced then I guess you could call me two hearted split in two; the most full and the most empty at the same time. Yet tonight, I am tired, my body needs to lie down. I have packing yet to do, but it is the last minute push and can be done in 30 min. I have spent my day preparing for my 7:30 departure to LAX first stop of two before I land in Bangkok, 15.9.07 11:50 pm. It is 11pm and already she sleeps so deep she does not stir as I lay down fully clothed beside her. I am planning to rest only a short while my pick up is at 5:30 am; I need to be up at 4 to allow for the finial push. I will be fine I have lived on 5 hours sleep most of my life. However tonight I do not sleep I lay awake the entire time. The best I can do is to calm, clear, and listen to her breath and to feel her body close to mine. I prefer it this way if I only have these 5 hours I do not want to spend it sleeping but aware of life as it is here now. Maggie my beautiful 2.5-pound Maltese beauty is sharing my pillow gently licking my face. Debbie like a child she sleeps beside me I can hear her heart beating. Is she dreaming, is she here with any awareness, I reach out and touch her face she does not wake I do not wake her. The red light shines up onto the high wall from the living room below. The bedroom door is open I can see our altar the doorframe from Indonesia in which the young Buddha stands twenty candles at his feet warriors standing guard. I can sense every corner of my home I can feel her heart beating. Monica and Max are here for the week visiting from New York.
They are sleeping in her old bedroom down the hall. I feel their love it fills the house and the world around them. I am very happy for them, and I, that they are here. I think of Colin my son his spirit restless like mine. He is almost done building his dream car. Bright yellow fast built with his hands from the frame up. He has done a beautiful job very professional, I am impressed he should be very proud. I am very proud of him, I miss him but I am very happy to have been able to spend most of the afternoon and evening with him. My thoughts and feelings are traveling with intent and focus. Taking it all in not wanting to miss a second.
Do you know how much I love you?
Thailand awaits mysterious, ancient, the heart of Buddha land, exotic, sensuous. It is the end of the rain season 90 degrees humid thunderstorms, hard rain pounding. I love the rain in fact I love any force of nature that reminds me of the magnificence of life, the planet. I imagine that the rains in Thailand this time of year are similar to South Florida. I remember the air the rain and body temperature so close it would feel like a warm shower a bath. As dangerous as it may be a few times while living there I went swimming late in the night, the rain one with the ocean, it was a close to the womb you can get, then laying on the beach naked my face to the sky the warm rain massaging my body. It is times like these I feel closest to God, nature, the universe. I will be staying at the Oriental Hotel in Bangkok for three nights before I travel to my final destination Kamala Beach located on the Island of Phuket in the south of Thailand. I am already thinking that this will not be enough time at the Oriental or for my first visit to Bangkok. I will leave to fate if the hotel has the room available for a couple of nights I will take advantage. I have packed very little choosing to travel light. Camera gear and tech gear fill most of my two backpacks.
At the last minute I see how tightly packed I am, and therefore decide to bring one more suitcase, so that I will have room for the collections of the reflections of my connecting with those I love as I journey as I discover treasures to share and delight. Basically Mate/Christian it’s like this, I will most likely do some shopping. Still not sleeping I turn off the alarm and take action, first the hot tub I love my hot tub no chance I am going to forgo a last minute 4am soak, then shower, pack, a little last minute organization and my pick up arrives right on schedule, 5:30 am. I take my bags to the driver and return to my house my home for goodbye kisses and I am off. I am now on the airplane it is a clear day we are flying at 22,000 feet I can see for miles, and if I close my eyes ever so slightly I can see halfway around the world. Now I am getting excited. I think of Debbie deep in her dreams, I smile and she sleeps.

RAW

It really was love from the first, well maybe not love but certainly an instant attraction.
It was their minds, both women smart creative and very passionate, about life; making a difference in life not only their own, but for the world around them. The first time I met Karri she was in process of her Nia White belt training. This dates back to when we provided accommodations for the trainees. Karri was sitting at the kitchen table and we began a conversation that continues today five maybe six years later. We talked about changing the world not just with Nia but in any and everyway we could. Karri has always been very passionate about sustainability. Her passion for sustainability engulfs anything that can be optimized grown or saved from destruction; business, the planet, the body the spirit. Karri is a co-producer of the annual Greenfest conference. Karri walks her talk. We have over the years become good friends she is of my favorite people on the planet. In the time I have known Karri it has always been a pleasure to witness her as she has followed her dreams and manifesting all she seeks. When she speaks you can almost see her thoughts in motion. Alison and I met at a book signing in San Francisco three years ago. We had a similar experience we immediately connected and began a conversation that continues today, Nia. Alison is passionate about marketing and education she is bringing her experience in educational model development to the table along with her experience and passion in the marketing realm. Both women are very passionate about Nia and supporting the whole to grow and flourish as elegantly as possible. I am in Portland for a series of meeting through the week, a business stop over on my way to Thailand. As I sit at the conference table at Nia headquarters I smile deep inside as I witness the dynamics of the nine people assembled including Karri and Alison. Without the assembled team and the support of the entire Nia team including Debbie, Carlos, Shannon, Barry, Axel, Andy, Mike, Lloydine, Barbara, Dena, Ivy, Arianne, Katy, Dan the man, Maria, Cimi, Erica, Alison, Karri and Liz as well as the assorted outside support that we work with I could never take this important time to go on sabbatical. I feel again the excitement I felt when I first began 12 years ago with Nia. As I sit and listen to the ideas and the creativity of all that is being presented I remember why I am so passionate about my business the work of Nia and my job. I am taking in new breath and light my mind clear and fresh as it was when I first learned of Nia. From the beginning I was impressed that this was a body of work that is effectively influencing the planet in a very practical and positive way. Helping people to understand themselves and giving them tools to grow, heal, and find a deeper connection to spirit. I remember how excited I was after practicing the work for over three years to be asked by Debbie and Carlos to help them manage the growth of Nia. I sit here 12 years later watching both their dreams but mine as well fitting together like a puzzle that is beginning to come to life. Nia has always been alive the puzzle I refer to is the strategy we have been working on from the time I began with the organization, the players are at the table the tools in the chest and the vision is clear and action in motion. It has always been a dream of mine to work both Karri and Alison. Over the years I cannot count the hours of dreaming and brainstorming we have shared. For the most part individually but now together in one room around one table united with one vision. I feel satisfaction and a renewed confidence in our ability to manifest our goals. It has been said that it is the reflection of a man to see who walks beside him. Today I feel blessed and if I let my ego get away with me proud when I look out at the team that I have over the years put together to help me and Debbie and Carlos take Nia into the future.

Tomorrow I leave for Thailand. I still have to pack and finish some last minute business issues. Monica and Max arrived last night from New York City. They will be here for a week but I only have today with my man Max and my daughter. So I am feeling a bit anxious however I am not out of touch with the idea of waking up in Thailand in just a few days. I am doing my best to be open and to not hold any ideas or expectations. I am Relaxed Alert and Waiting.

I Can Fly

Three currents, three directions
Blinding white as if caught in a cloud or a sand storm
The whirlpools created by the merging bodies flowing with intention
The moon moving the tides, rushing in, over under and through
Fluid, opening and yet resisting, pulsing into and at the same time
Blending, from three directions they come
One cold, clear, fast, rushing, moved by gravity no direction known
History carving a path of least resistance
The force of which driven by the changing of light carving stone
Slow, wide, predictable as the sun
Deep dark mixing with the earth, brown, cloudy
Full of life, a birthplace, nurturing and mysterious at the same time
Merging together, downward spiraling pulling at my heart
My legs wrapped, tied sinking deeper and deeper my face stinging
The splash of the crashing forces as they collide
I can fly, I can swim, I can begin again

Back To Portland

All who journey change. My journey, one of self-exploration at the same time taking a journey into the heart of the culture of my destinations most certainly has had an effect on me, for life, how, I do not know at this time. Two people have told me I look younger and at 53 this is a welcome observation however I believe that change is deep inside me and will reveal itself over time. I know that I am humbled and have found a new level of love for life. I have always been one to revere life and celebrate in appreciation, in all that I do. I take time to give thanks for all my blessings and the opportunity to serve. I do this every day all day but in ritual before every meal I take a moment to say “ Thank you for your blessings, keep us healthy, keep us strong, keep us wise, and guide us to the light so that we may better serve” This is simply my personal way to pause for a moment and reflect and consciously express my deep respect for life and all that it brings. I feel I have matured into a place that is more relaxed, I feel less willing to fight. I have been fighting all my life and my time away has given me insight into how tired I am of fighting. There is no more need to fight. This does not mean that I am going to roll over the old me is still alive just growing and maturing at an accelerated pace. Coming back to Portland was quite uneventful of course there was a bit of a culture shock. It is difficult to travel from Venice to JFK international and not feel some culture shock. I suspect even as a casual traveler you would witness the vast difference. My first experience was at the baggage claim. I had a considerable amount of luggage. Enough that it was a challenge to fit onto the standard carts one can rent for three dollars, so I went to one of the attendants to ask for assistance, he looked like a man in charge with his red coat and badge, I asked him where I could find a porter to help me with my luggage. He simply shrugged his shoulders with out even uttering a word; I suspect this is some sort of airport dialect that means I don’t know. I enquired if he was in any way involved with the porter team and he told me that he was the supervisor, I was right if there was a man to talk to get a porter it would be he. I admit I was tired and this was certainly evident, but when I tried to get more information form the supervisor of the porters his only answer was you are on your own as he walked away.
Welcome to JFK, I know I am alone I did not need this man to remind me.
For most of my life I have been alone and now I am feeling very alone. Not just in that I must deal with my bags without assistance, but as with all of us, in regards to our lives we are ultimately on our own. I arrived late on Friday night slept for 5 hours. I got up meditated and prayed, took a hot tub and went to work. I later laid down for a short nap, as I was to meet my son Colin for an early dinner. I was looking forward to this I do not have much opportunity to be with Colin our time together is very precious to me. However I was so tired that I slept through three phone calls two of them from him. I did not wake up until 5:am. The traveling is hard on my body and I needed the rest. It is very unusual for me to sleep for so long and so deeply. I feel rested now and am preparing myself to go to work in a few hours. I have 4 days of meetings in front of me and one day to pack before I go to Thailand. As I have changed, how have those close to me changed, Carlos has been to Burning Man Debbie has traveled three times and has had to deal with a new level of responsibility, I am sure they have changes they will bring to the table that will effect the dynamic of our working together. I am excited and yet apprehensive our history has been less than harmonious and I fear that we could have grown further apart. Growth is always good however it can bring with it new dynamics of change. This could be good for us and certainly good for Nia, or not. We will see. I assure you that we will do our best to do the best for Nia.
I am done fighting.
We have many important decisions to make over the next 4 days before I leave again for Thailand. There are IT issues, Finance, Branding, Staff, Projects to green light and relationships to rebuild. I am excited and yet I am afraid, seems to be a life condition for me, maybe it is apart of the universal human condition. I am not sure all I know is as I sit here in the early morning watching the sun rise on another day I am filled with mixed emotions. It is good to be back in Portland to be with Debbie and Maggie, my house, my own bed and to take a bath. And I have always been ready to and honored to fill my role at Nia. My favorite breakfast place is still here they still remember my name as if they had no idea I had gone. A time warp, I imagine that it is somewhat like any life changing experience, psychotropic drugs, health, travel, situations that tear the fabric of your life; when I walked in to take my place at the breakfast counter it was business as usual I was not even missed. A simple good morning Jeff “What’s up” I wanted to jump up and scream “everything” and tell them all about my great journey but this is to be kept to my self. The experience of reflecting on my experiences by writing in this way has tempered me and given me a canvas to paint my stories my feelings.
Reality shift, today I put on my suit and I go back into the board room and once again become the business man the CEO of The Nia Technique. This time I will do it a little different bringing with me new tools and a deeper respect for the work that we do and a deeper level of appreciation for this opportunity to serve. Thank you for your blessings, keep me healthy, keep me strong, keep me wise and guide me to the light so that I may better serve.

I Got to wear the Suit

I could never imagine as I sit here early morning in Campo S. Marghererita sipping coffee eating a Ventagli that even after such a magical experience and knowing myself to be easily moved most particularly at this time in my life that my last day in Venice would be so profound. This city has touched me more than any that has come before her; I am absorbed. Feeling as if I too have become a part of the soul that makes Venice so. In the 33 days of my stay I entered possibly only three historical places all of them churches. Once during my historical walk with Barbara, once for Irene in hopes that the Marble cathedral would help me connect with her to send her love and healing light. And once for Venice, in reverence to the creations of man that surround, me moved to my knees in expression, helpless to find any other way, Venice I bow before you. From a marsh dotted with small islands the flatland of silt upon which you built the foundation from which you rise. For close to 1700 years thriving surviving building a creation of historical, cultural, sociological proportions none have quite come to understand or express. Many have tried to attempt to share the feeling evoked through experiencing Venice none of which although admirable cannot begin to be complete if one has not swam in the lagoon or made a weak attempt too play in the sand. A miracle that you have preserved so completely your heart and sparkle in your eyes. Venice is like a beautiful woman who has beaten the ravages of time. There is a legend that the Holy Grail is buried under the Cathedral of Santa Maria Assunta on the Island of Torcello the first recognized settlement of the Veneti, basically where Venice was born around the time of 452 when people fled to the safety of the lagoons as a result of the recurring invasions of the barbarians from the north and east particularly Attila the Hun. I heard this legend from my friend Isacco a Venetian as we toured the island. If there is any truth to the legend of the Holy Grail than it is believable that it could be buried here, as Venice feels eternal. I have so many last minute pieces to put together and yet I am resistant to rise form my seat like an angry child stubborn to stay just a little while longer, just a little while longer, nothing other than will, the will to shift space and time by simply holding my breath. In surrender I decide I will accomplish the packing task in tandem. As I pass by my apartment on my way to have lunch with Marco and Davide my two jeweler ski buddies, I stop and spend 15 min. organizing stage 1. Then off to the jewelry store to hook up with the boys. They take me to their favorite restaurant now reopened after a summer break. The restaurant is located in one of the most charming Campos in the city San Giacomo dell’ Orio. A large Campo with a beautiful Chiesa; di San Giacomo dell’ Orio. One of the oldest in Venice it dates back to the 9th or 10h century. There are clusters of trees, benches, shops and one of the most beautiful apartment terraces in the city. Marco gave me a rundown of the specialties and his preferred dishes. As I often do I welcome the recommendation of my host I say sono con te (I’m with you.) I believe there is little point in making a decision on what to eat in a situation like this, the host I know will have a wonderful meal, never fails I always do as well. Today’s lunch is a salad with fresh vegetables and greens, served on an oversized plate, which included a grand offering of thinly sliced raw fish. Swordfish, tuna, octopus (slightly cooked,) salmon, clavier, baccala, thin and crisp bread sticks a little bread for a spread and a bottle of perfect white wine and voila you have it the Shannon special! A lunch she could eat every day possibly forever regardless of the magical location, however I somehow expect this would add some contribution to the over all experience, it most certainly did for me. Our lunch was brief today not the 2.5 hours as our first lunch just 1.5 hours. Today we did not rush however this was a business as usual day. Davide and Marco had creations to manifest and I had to pack and still meet with Ciccio for a couple of hours. Ciccio calls at precisely the agreed time, the moment we pay the bill. Walking back to the jewelry store with the guys, I have to slow down, caught up in the getting to know you and the planning of our next reunion I forgot to adjust my awareness, my lens to wide angle. I do so catching myself, now I am seeing feeling hearing and absorbing no less than 28 mm. As we walk, we talk of the ski trips we will take, the mountain cabin we will stay in, one room built of stone no water no lights. Just candles guitars wine food skis and two great guys, I suspect are great skiers and who will be life long friends. We talk of Debbie coming and they invite us to spend a weekend in the country with them. They, as are Venice and I, looking forward to Debbie visiting for 20 days. I can hardly wait to introduce Debbie to Venice and Venice to Debbie. Debbie Venice is waiting for you with open arms you only need to learn two words, Tutto Bene! I’ll take care of the rest along with the help of the crew of course.
Ciccio and I rendezvous at the jewelry store and after some laughs and a few photos off he and I go to look at apartments for my return. He only has a few hours left before he flies too Sardinia to the grand event the wedding of his brother Giuseppe to Alessandra; and yet he says, “don’t worry Jeff we have plenty of time.” In less than two hours we do it all including having time to chat on the street with a couple of people Ciccio meets along the way and still at the last minute have time to sit down for a drink at one last “very special place” Ciccio wants to share with me. The Bar is closed; this is a Ciccio Joke more times than I can count Ciccio says let’s go here we get there and the place is closed, this time it was the middle of the afternoon and the place was closed. However the door was slightly ajar so we walked in. Ciccio knowing the bartender I suspect also the owner he gladly served us. I did not even realize the bar was closed until I saw three different groups of potential customers turned away as Cicco and I sat outside sipping our beer and wine perspectivly. I feel embarrassed and at the same time special as we sit enjoying our time together. Ciccio helps me translate a note I am writing Rachele to thank her for all her kindness, I have not had the chance to say good by and I have a couple of pictures I want to share with her. This accomplished it is time for Ciccio to take off we say till next time and off he goes and I to finish packing. I cannot find the words or any action for that matter to express to Ciccio my thanks to him for all he has done and the role he has played in this central casting experience of “Jeff in Venice.” I do know that Ciccio and I will share many years of laughter together and “Very Special Times” to Ciccio “The Prince of Venice” I thank you. I want to give a few gifts before I leave. I printed off some pictures and placed them into thank you cards, I ask Christian if he will help me translate my words into Italian, he tells me that he is free in twenty minutes. We meet in the Ghetto. Such an interesting place the Ghetto, holding a huge piece of the history of the Jewish people as a treasure for the world to touch and feel. I believe that the Ghetto is of the most significant pieces of Venetian history there is, certainly it cannot not be measured or forgotten. Barbara was telling me as we strolled through the Ghetto on my private afternoon history lesson time with Barbara (a Venetian tour guide and concierge and now good friend) that once she viewed an apartment to rent in the Ghetto. The apartment was everything she could ever want in an apartment however there was one small problem the ceiling height was so low that she could not stand up straight, the ceiling being 2 inches lower that she stands. Remember the Jews were only given a two-block area for so many people (up to 4,000 at one point) that they had to take advantage of every square inch of space. My day with Barbara was informational but also fun and delightful. We ran into her parents, they were out shopping for an apartment for Barbara to buy. I enjoyed very much having the opportunity to meet them and spend time together. Barbara you remind me so much of your mother! Ha Ha!
Christian and I met in the central square of the Ghetto and we jump into the boat my favorite piece of Venice. Christian must know this, as there was really no reason what so ever for us to go anywhere, I had only asked him for a couple of minutes too help with some simple translations for two cards. We could have done this sitting on a bench in the square. But Christian has a plan he knows how much I love the boat and the water but I have missed a very important piece. In all the time I have spent on the water in the boat thanks to Christian and Ciccio although the weather has been beautiful most of the time due to the humidity I have never seen the mountains. Christian had told me that on a clear day you could see the mountains, but I had no idea how beautiful and how surprisingly close they were. Today was a clear day and Christian took me out into the lagoon to share with me the view. And yes I was taken back in awe and surprise at not only the beauty but how close the mountains really are. Thank you Christian for thinking of me and sharing this experience, now it seriously time to pack. I go back to my apartment and finish stage two of packing. I then gather my cards and gifts and go off to Postali to meet with the crew and have one last drink together before I leave for Thailandia. The whole crew is not there however Luca and Mara are as well as Serge, David the violinist, Diana the writer and Phillipo the musician. I give them my gifts and my love and off I go, to their surprise, but I still have packing to do and a good nights sleep to get as my taxi arrives at 8:am. On the way back to my apartment I run into Enrico and his girlfriend Chiara, they are on their way back home to change for the opening of a new bar restaurant, it is a formal affair a velvet rope event. They invite me along, I hesitate however this could be interesting and I still have not had the opportunity to wear my best suit, which I brought along in case of just this sort of occasion. I hurry back to my apartment to shower and change. I decide that in that I have seen the sun rise three times in 4.5 weeks why not see tomorrows as it is my last night in Venice, this trip, and I can always sleep on the plane or so I hope. We meet in Campo S. Polo they have brought along a friend Celestra, and off the four if us go to the grand opening. The event was as described and as expected. This was the first time I experienced an event with this part of Venetian society. Many of those in attendance were my age and very well dressed, I however was over dressed, oh well I did get to wear the suit. The event was boring and a bit snobbish we decide to go, and we end up back at Postali which I prefer much more. A few more of the crew had gathered and I was able to say a few more good bys before I left. Spending only a few minutes at Postali I return to my apartment and finish packing. I then go for a late night walk through the city, catch a short nap and then at 8:am I load into my taxi and off I go back to Portland for a short week before I leave for Thailand. Ciao Venezia fino alla volta prossima.

A Human City

As he turned the corner he took me by surprise. I was startled, we came very close to running into each other, both of us stopping, we looked squarely into the eyes of the other deep as if looking into a vortex of time. He was smiling, a private joke reflected also in his eyes; unshaven barely a bristle of hair on his head he wore a stocking cap slightly cocked to one side it appeared close to falling off. He wore the striped shirt of the Gondolier blue and white, blue pants rolled up to his knees his sandals were old and worn to the point that you could imagine he had not removed them since the day he first placed them upon his feet. Tipping his hat he laughed and we parted. He continued on but within seconds as he had moved less than ten feet from me I heard him say Boo to two young girls who passed by him. This made me think he was drunk. Curious I decided to follow him for a short while. Soon It was clear that he was not drunk just a simple clown of a man walking through the streets amusing himself playing with the people he meets, clowning for the children, surprising pretty young girls as they stare at him; Boo! A simple man clowning with the world bringing to the streets his own piece of life contributing to ours in quite delightful way. This is a human city. Walking through Campo S. Polo rushing home as I was making preparations for a dinner party I had planned to gather my new Venetian friends to say thank you for their generosity warmth and for welcoming me into their lives. I had pictures to print wine to buy a Venetian albeit temporally I was busy in life. Nello and crew the local street musicians greeted me as I was passing, as I waved to them too hurried to stop and chat they approached me with intention; recognizing this I stop.
They had remembered the date of my departure and requested the opportunity to once again play for me. I explained that this evening I was entertaining friends at Taverna del Campiello Remer. They asked me what time they could come and play for us. We decided on 9:00 this turned out to be a perfect time as all the guest 25 in all had arrived and most of us were outside chatting with our cocktails when Nello and crew arrived once again delighting us all with their charm and music. This is a human town.
The dinner was of the best nights of my life. I had invited 26 people 25 showed up one had to go to the dentist for an emergency. The guest list was a mix of people I had met though Ciccio and Crew and people I had developed relationships with on my own just being in life, the interesting thing was that even though all the guest list was not from the same crew many of them knew somebody at the party if not all. Marlow from the Internet café dressed as a movie star matching his classic handsome Italian style had known Isacco since childhood and the two of them had not seen each other in years; this is only one example of the connection of the evening. Enrico brought his Clarinet being the quintessential musician he played along with BJ the resident musician, many sang along with classics in both Italian and English. A night to remember indeed as you can imagine we closed the place down and stood gathered outside the front door for one more smoke and laugh none of us wanting the evening to end. This is a human town. Last night I attended the birthday celebration of my dear friend Rosanna, gathering outside of her home away from home in a Campo near Rialto we shared food and wine and talked of the world. We discussed how different Venice is from other places and why it is different and Martina a multi generation Venetian who has been fortunate to have done a considerable amount of traveling I think said it best, Venice is still a human city.
The discussion of which went on for an hour or so, regardless I agree. People in Venice are in intimate relationship with each other as well as the city. They do not have to make appointments to see their friends, most of the family units are still connected they meet on the streets and in the cafes they speak of things that matter and the share their hearts. I love Venice it is still a human town, and for this my heart aches.
I leave tomorrow and as those of you who know me well know that I have yet to pack and I must post this last post from Venice (For now) not for any other reason than I must
Say ciao to Marlow and then I must stop by Postali and hug the crew until next time. And I must walk the streets of Venice filling my heart with as much as I can hold until I return to my new adopted home; Venice. To all of my friends…. do you know how much I love you? Until the end of time.

A Day at the Races

I have decided to return to Venice after my stay in Thailand. This journey of mine is one of thinking, resettling, and healing; not of traveling to be a tourist. I cannot remember feeling this at home other than at my own with Debbie and Maggie. Could be some past life experience or it could just be the wonderful people I have met, my love of history and architecture and my having moved so much as a child. Living in Rome for my predominant formative years without question had an effect on my personality and culture. In some small way I feel a piece of my heart is a little bit Italian. For this reason when I return from my time in Thailand I will finish my sabbatical in Venice. I have enrolled in an Italian immersion language school for the first 4 weeks of my return. For these 4 weeks I will live in an Italian home and study hard to learn this beautiful, magical and musical language as quickly as possible.
I admit to a fantasy of one day living in Italy. In the meantime as life happens my new hobby is learning Italian. My work during this time other than as I have described is to create for and strategize the future of Nia. At this point I am comforted to know that the intensive work the Nia team has accomplished in creating a foundation where we can now focus on growth. This is an area I excel in and I can assure you that my creative juices are flowing. With Nia, growth has happened as a matter of course. Transformation is alchemical and can create a chain reaction. Nia has grown in this way. That said the opportunities lay in direction and delivery.
Back to the travel log; yesterday I watched a Venetian Regatta. The Regattas of Venice began as military exercises. There a many different Regatta events held in Venice beginning in March and ending in September. The one I witnessed is held the first Sunday in September and is a grand festival, a Venetian Parade. Much like the Rose parade we have in Portland. The first boats of the, pass along the Grand Canal as a precession leading off the main event; the race of the Gondoliers. Most of the Gondolas taking part in the precession are decorated very ornately and many carry passengers in period costumes. The first official Regatta of this type dates back to some time around 1300 it was held on the feast of the Marias (referenced from the Knoff guide on Venice.)
I was to connect with my friend Manual a professional photographer a Venetian Photographer. He was going to pull some strings and get me a pass to the press box so I could have a good vantage point to take pictures of my own. This did not happen as Manual is one of the top photographers in Venice and is in high demand particularly this time of year, with many events happening it is also the week of the film festival. Manual was side tracked with a call from the star brigade. Any pictures you see of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, from the Venice film festival could very possibly be Manuals. He is a Rock Star of Photographers. Not disappointed in anyway, understanding this, is his prime time and I am just a tag along, I decide that I better start looking for a spot to park myself and create my own prime spot. Not knowing the city that well, I thought of the pier in front on Emilio and Angela’s Restaurant “ Taverna del Campiello Remer” situated on an outside curve of the Grand Canal and directly between the Rialto Bridge and the Rialto Fish market, how could I go wrong. Besides if I got hungry or thirsty the Taverna was right there. I went early, not sure if the restaurant would be open this early I took along some snacks and took my place and waited for the event to begin the proposed time was 3:30. When I arrived the restaurant was open and preparing for the event and placing some seating along the dock. Some people had already arrived, however I was in luck and there was still plenty of room for me. Soon boats began to arrive and tie up to the dock. As with many of my prior experiences I fell into a bucket of luck. By the time the dock filled with boats tied together three deep on all sides, there was Mauro one of my favorite buddies from the internet point from where I work and Laurie from Café Rosso, I knew a nice portion of the gathered crowd and felt right at home it felt like a family picnic. Then last but not least at the last minute Manual the paparazzi pulls up in yet another boat and ties up at the end of the boat park. He notices me and I ask him if I can join him; he and Phillip (who I had not yet met) welcomed me aboard. So I climbing over two other boats I took my seat; the best seat in the house. Soon the Regatta began I took close to 1,000 pictures thanks to digital technology, I gave my card to Manual and off he went, to up load the pictures to his clients and the AP. Maybe one of my photos will make the grade, regardless I had a blast! I got some new camera tips, too much sun and some new friends. I finished my day with a small dinner at Emilio’s and then a quick stop at the Communista rally. The band that was playing (a fantastic disco cover band) had been at the same boat party as I. I was not aware of this until I arrived at the show and as often happens in Venice I ran into others I had Venetian tailgated with. They informed me that three of the members of the band had indeed been at the boat party that afternoon. I was happy that I had my camera with me as earlier in the day I took some wonderful pictures of the lead singer his pregnant wife the backup singer in the band and their delightful two-year-old boy. This will make for a fun gift for them, the day at the boat show, the child and the rock show.

The Fight Club

Today is one of the biggest days in Venice, The parade/ race of the gondolas.
The canal is lined with barges complete with bleachers and music playing through speakers all along the canal. Stars of all kinds are everywhere, movie stars, rock stars; the skies are filled with helicopters some carrying the stars others the paparazzi. Yesterday we cruised the Lagoon it was quite the event to see all the yachts and helicopters, last night the city was full of black ties and beautiful dresses. It felt as if the entire town was a black tie party as the partygoers moved to and fro to their parties a parade of the elite.
I am tired today I passed on a party invitation last night and chose instead to go home early after a wonderful meal at the home of my friend Francesco. In bed by ten and up at nine I have parked myself along the canal in front of Emilio’s restaurant hoping to have a good advantage point to take some pictures. Friday night was the night of my Bepe’s bachelor party. This was quite a different party than the party of Diego. This group of guys are intimate with each other, but in a different way they fight “ The fight Club.” I chose to dress in one of my finest suits out of respect to my new friend other wise I would have been more in the flurry. As it was I woke up with my share of bruises and sore knuckles.
Basically taking and giving my share of shots. I am no stranger to street fighting although it has been many years and I am 20 years senior to the crew, I did my best to stay on the sidelines however as I have explained I was not completely successful.
The Party took place in a square on the edge of the Canal. The square was very crowed as this is where the Communista party is still holding their rally, complete with food and music. They really know how to attract a crowd. So twenty or so of Bepe’s close friends gather for food drink and fighting. I open the evening with a gift to Bepe. I came upon the idea for his gift while shopping for Debbie. I was browsing Dolce Cabanna in hopes to find some sale items, when I saw some pink men’s underwear; this gave me the idea for the gift. Not knowing Bepe or his future wife well I was at a loss of what would be appropriate, the pink underwear seemed fun and gave me an outline for the roasting a little speech for the groom. I gave him the gift. After he opened it he laughed and I announced that I had to explain the purpose of my choice. I gathered the men around and in a huddle in an attempt to overcome the noise of the festival I went on to explain with Isacco translating. “ I chose to wear all black this evening as I am in mourning for yet the loss of another free soul, I am honored to be here at this special event having just met the two of you thank you for your gracious invitation. Not knowing you well I was at a loss of what would be an appropriate gift. When I chose the underwear I bought the largest pair I could find because from what I know of Alessandra her great beauty and huge heart, I know it takes a huge man with huge courage to be the husband of such a woman, he must also have very big balls.” The men all laughed and then regrouped intent on my every word. I went on to explain “ I chose the color pink because I want you to always remember to stay in touch with you feminine side and your sense of humor. But to be a good husband you must always remember that she is a woman and you must always be gentle and kind you must listen to her even when you do not understand her and you must end every night with a look into her eyes an a kiss.” I had wrapped the present in a pink tie, I went on to explain “ I bought the tie so that you would not look so fucking stupid standing there in your over sized pink underwear!”
We finished eating and went again to the Lido Beach bar.
Through out the eveing many of Bebe's friends came to me to thank me for the speach as they felt I was speaking for them. I spoke the words they were unable to say as it is not their culture to do such a thing: it was my honor to do so.
Back to the party, Ciccio introduced be to owner a young man in his thirties, in a t-shirt shorts and baseball cap, I did not know he was the owner of the bar thinking I was being introduced to just another of Ciccio’s many friends.
I have given Ciccio a new nickname “ The prince of the city.” Yackabu my new friend offered me class of Rum and Coke, not wanting to be culturally insensitive but yet have already had my share of white wine I refused his generous offer. He laughed and asked what I was drinking, I told him Champaign he grabbed me by the arm escorted me to the back of the bar and opened a bottle of Bollinger of a very fine year we finished this as we stood basically in the kitchen then he opened another. It was then midnight. He moved the little gathering that was growing to the VIP section bringing along two very large buckets of ice two bottles of each asking a visiting Movie Star and his friends if they would move to another table to accommodate the growing private party of Yackabu, he graciously obliged and we went on until 4 in the morning. I was having such a good time my energy so high I did not for one moment feel drunk just drunk on life.
Thank you Bebe for a wonderful experience and your new friendship I wish you and Alessandra all the happiness in the world and many healthy and happy children to contribute to the richness of your lives together.
Isacco thanks for the bruises. It is good to know that I can still take a punch and return such. I will say however good thing the suit survived.